I had the fortune to catch a show called Heroes the other day. I’m not really known for watching TV, though this looks a promising show.

What really grabbed my attention was that one of the characters, Hiro, a Japanese man, in conversation with a friend talked about being different… It went something along the lines of…

Friend: “Why are you always trying to be different?”
Hiro: “Why are you always trying to be the same?”

Now this really struck a chord with me. The vast majority of people spend there entire lives trying to be the same as, or what they perceive to be the same as, everyone else.

What is amazing about that is that the major advances in our existence always come from those people who strive to be different.

What would happen if we all strived to be different? Or more accurately, what would happen if we all strived to be ourselves? How much farther along in our evolution would we be?

So, be different, be an individual, but above all else, be yourself.

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Technorati Tags: Change, Choice, making a difference, self-improvement

As an Executive and Personal Life Coach, I experience the most amazing things with my clients. The majority of the time, the discussion centres around their goals, dreams, hopes, aspirations etc. for the future. This of course is the main difference between Coaching and Counselling (both of course have their place).

The most astounding sessions occur when a person discovers their inner desires and dreams, that they were previously only superficially aware. Given the opportunity in a session to just talk, people amaze themselves by their level of understanding and knowledge of themselves. Even people who think or believe they have no goals, find things deep within themselves that they can strive for and will ultimately bring meaning and purpose to their existence. Of course, there is no secret meaning or purpose, nor is there a destined meaning or purpose for any of us. As Neale Donald Walsch states in The Secret, “Your purpose is what you say it is.”

The beauty is in the discovery. The un-covering of desires and dreams that can allow a person to change from one who simply exists, to one who creates. They create opportunity, wealth, health, leadership, joy, happiness and many, many other wonderful things in their lives.

We’d all be a whole lot happier if perhaps we understood that the “purpose of life” is to figure out what the “purpose of my life” is.

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Technorati Tags: Coaching, Goals, meaning, neale donald walsch, purpose

Over the weekend, my daughter said to us that if she were to die, nobody would worry. Now she’s only just 3 years old, so it came as quite a surprise to us that she said this. My instant reaction was to say something along the lines of… if she did die, then we would definitely miss her. However the Coach in me resisted this jump in and fix the situation quick attitude and I simply asked her to explain why she had said what she said. Her reply was a simple, “When I die, I will have wings.” Quite a profound thing to say for a 3 year old. The next question, “Why will you have wings?” received the response, “Because I will be a bird!”.

Now, it’s very easy sometimes to interpret a situation like this by putting our own emotions and feelings into the mix and trying to fix. My overwhelming reaction at first was that here is a child who is struggling with the concept of death, and thinking that if she died nobody would care or worry about it. It would have been very simple to have tried to comfort her, when in fact there was no need. The situation was that here is a child, who is considering death for perhaps the first time and then imagining what it might mean and what might happen. There was no negative emotion in her at all, she simply added up all the experience she had in her 3 year old life and packaged it up to make sense of this thing called death!

Sometimes it’s all too easy to rush in with people and try to fix their emotional state, or attempt to prevent a perceived discomfort. The other person’s reality of their situation can be far removed from your own perception or interpretation - sometimes it’s a good idea to check before you leap in! I’m so glad to have experienced this with my daughter and her ideas of becoming a bird when you die is such a beautiful one, I may never have had the opportunity to hear about it.

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Technorati Tags: Coaching, feelings, Fix, imagination, parenting

I remember being a young child and wondering what it would be like to be this thing called a “Grown Up”. It all seemed so far away back then. Over time, I began to actually desire to be a Grown Up, spending much time acting as old and adult as I could, even though I was a teenager. The feelings of being a Grown Up seem to develop over time, yet the actual state of being Grown Up still seems so far away.

A major time in my life was the birth of my daughter. I imagine it’s a similar thing for most first time parents when they suddenly realise they have this new extension of themselves and their family. Something small and wonderful to be responsible for! Perhaps we consider the fact that we may have never really taken full responsibility for ourselves, how on earth do we take full responsibility for someone else? It’s really a time to Grow Up fast.

But then a little time passes and we begin to foster independence in our child and it’s time to Grow Up again. As the child themselves Grow Up, we seek to teach them their own self-responsibility and at some point in their future, they may even have their own bundle of joy. Time once more to Grow Up. Until what? We become this thing we call a Grown Up? Well, maybe.

What if we never become a Grown Up? Is it possible that this thing we call a Grown Up doesn’t actually exist? Indeed, if it were possible to become Grown Up, we would surely have no need of Growing. It is possible that there are many Grown Ups in the world, however these people are just people who have stopped Growing. They’ve arrived at their destination and are just kicking a ball about waiting for something else to happen.

Perhaps our goal should not be to become a Grown Up, perhaps our goal should be to Grow.

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Technorati Tags: growth, making a difference, parenting, responsibility