Motivation Help
It’s normally around now that most people realise that we’re a good way into the year and they’ve not done too well on their promises to themselves. If you are in this boat, then the first thing you’ll do, of course, is to berate yourself about it. Obviously this makes you feel wonderful and all the more motivated to get into action! No?
So, clearly this method of motivation is largely unsuccessful, rather like a parent in a sports game who tells their child exactly what they are doing wrong and then expects them to perform to the most incredible standard, which of course would not be good enough. If you hadn’t already realised, we all have this parent that dwells inside us, ready to pounce on any slight deviation from perfection. This “Critical Parent” (or Controlling Parent - from the Transactional Analysis model) seeks to keep us on the straight and narrow, performing to the best of our ability. Even without too much psycho-babble and explanation, it is clearly not a fast route to success or motivation.
The most wonderful thing about any type of situation where we want to make change is that the key to it is awareness. So the first step is simply to be vigilant and be aware when such situations like this occur. When you notice the voice in your head being critical and saying that you need to get on with it, or do things differently, because you are aware of it, you have the power to react in any way you choose. For me, I find that a big smile back at the voice completely disarms it and enables me to become motivated rather than it disabling me. The beauty in this is that you can find your own way of reacting that will help you to keep or become more motivated to make the changes you desire.
It takes time, the first thing that usually happens is that you notice later and then you criticise yourself for not noticing at the time, which you may or may not notice as you do this! With practice, patience and a reminder that you are still learning and actually spotting it late is better than you’ve ever done before, this way of dealing with your inner critic will help you live a more motivated life.
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Filed under: motivation, parenting, tips — Tags: Awareness, Change, Choice, learning, motivation, parenting, promises, psycho babble, reaction, tips, transactional analysis — Dan O'Neil @ 8:48 am
I’m always beating myself up for things that I’ve not done!! Thanks for the info - very useful.
Jo
Hi Jo,
Glad to help! I think it’s a common problem… it might even be an epidemic!
We need to change the way we think to accomplish our goals. If we change our energy and focus on the positive, good things will happen. If you are aware of what you would like to accomplish you need to take action to achieve success. Creating an action plan will keep you motivated and focused to accomplish your goals. A step by step process will motivate you to reach your conclusion. Have a great day everyone.
I’m finding it really difficult right now to keep motivated to get my work done. It has got to the stage that I did not get my dissertation for university in on time and that impacted on my other modules too. Student Services have thankfully offered support and have given me concessions - as the subject coordinator obviously doesn’t want to see me do badly. I now have till this Friday to get my dissertation finished and handed in, but despite knowing I have to do it and wanting to get it done before I go home (my Mum thinks I handed it in fine) I just can’t get myself motivated to do it. I’ve tried offering myself rewards, or withholding things to make it more profitable to do well, but I just can’t get myself to do it at all. When speaking to one of the counsellors at university (I was convinced to go and see one, a big step for me) she suggested that I may have a fear of success and that is what is preventing me from getting anything done. I didn’t think to ask how I could get round that.
Any help or advice you could give would be great!
Lexa
@Lexa Hi Lexa and thanks for your question. I’ve sent you a reply directly and I’ll summarise here. Basically if you are in any doubt over achieving the deadline then the first thing you need to do is communicate with the University again. Next you need to go back to the counsellor, or find a therapist of your own to see and work through these challenges. There is little advice I can give you that will help you get the work done by Friday. If you really want to make this degree work, then remember to remain calm about it. There is a way through any situation if you are willing to work and get help to find solutions. Good luck in your future and thanks again for stopping by. Kind regards, Dan.