Dan O’Neil says… Thanks John

Thanks for your comment and question. I’ve been pondering this overnight and I think it might make a good post of it’s own, but in the meantime I’ll do my best to answer here.

I’ve had clients in the past who have come up with their own ways of dealing with issues between themselves and their partners, 2 examples are: First, to have a conversation with your spouse and explain your feelings and thoughts - most people pick a place outside the home and on neutral ground; the second is to continue growing, developing and changing as you are doubtless already doing and hope that someday you’ll break through the resistance that you are experiencing. (I’m assuming of course that as you change and grow, your spouse is reacting by becoming more of what you are moving away from, in order to try and maintain the status quo that they are used to.)

In my role as a coach, people often think that I am going to give them advice, which is rarely the case. In any situation there are more possible outcomes than I can possibly think of and you have more factors that affect your situation than I can possibly know. Coaches are skilled at helping people reach their own conclusions and approaches to situations like this.

To me it seems as though it might be useful for you to get some relationship counselling, coaching or support (in the UK we have Relate, I’m sure most countries have similar organisations and charities).

Lastly, recognise that you are moving towards the person that you wish to be. It’s a wonderful thing to not accept criticism and judgement when you hear it directed at others. If it’s not your wish to chime in, then remain centred and true to yourself.

Any process like this is hard, it can certainly be painful and I’d suggest that you seek some help if you want this situation to change or improve.

Thanks for sharing your position and perspective, I hope I’ve been able to help in some way. Kind regards, Dan.

I find myself more and more less-tolerant to criticism of others and judgement “not vital to survival.” It is one thing to pull away from new friends and even long time friends, but is rather difficult when the most serious offender is your spouse of 25 years.
How can I relay to others that I am offended and sometimes hurt when others are unfairly criticized? It seems that when people pass judgement on others to you; it is their expectaiton that not only will you agree with them, but to chime in as well.

@Levon Thanks for your comments. Dan.

The word “Earth” perhaps has more of a link with the ground we walk on and the mud we plant our food in, whereas “World” seems to me to link outwards to something that is not a part of us.

A new world is someone else’s responsibility, whereas a new earth is our collective responsibility. Maybe!

Interesting question though!