I’ve just been adding a few appointments to the diary for next week and I was thinking that as it’s Thursday that we’re nearing the end of the week. It was then that I noticed that actually Thursday is the middle of the week (Monday to Sunday) and there is still almost half a week left of this one. It strikes me that perhaps time is the only thing we treat in this way… for example there are not many people who get half way through a drink and think that they are nearing the end of it!

It’s so easy for us to slip into the trap of living from our free time to our next free time (for most, weekend to weekend) that we forget about the moment. Work occupies so much of our lives and for the vast majority of people, there is no excitement or will to be working. I feel privileged to be doing something that I love, to the point that it no longer feels like work. So for most, there are 5 days of 7 spent dealing (and accumulating stress) with something that enables us to have 2 days that we can call our own. To me it seems as though this is a really sorry state of affairs and one that can be really helped by a shift in attitude.

I’m always banging on about how we need dreams and goals in our lives to make sense and meaning out of the work that we do and I guess that’s one way to help us to remain present and focused during the times we spend at work.  If you find yourself in this space of living from precious weekend to precious weekend, with the inconvenience of work in between then the chances are that you do not have personal goals in place to be working towards. It becomes too easy to be tired when you get home and even bring work home to the point where you have neither the time nor energy to do anything in your free time. I suppose this is what is called the daily grind!

In the absence of finding what you love to do for a living, then find what you love to do in your spare time and use your living to fund and facilitate that. I often have clients who tell me that they are in a place that they wouldn’t describe as being depressed, but they are feeling unhappy about their lives. In the vast majority of these cases, simply plugging them back into their personal goals in life, transforms how they are feeling and they are able to move forward in all aspects of their lives.

If you are living your life from weekend to weekend or day-off to day-off, then make sure you have some personal goals in place that will help you to keep upbeat and positive in the stressful times you may be experiencing.

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I work with a great deal of people who are fantastic at setting massive goals and dreams. For some people this is enough and they have a goal which consumes them and they single mindedly work towards it and ultimately achieve it. For others, they generally set off with a great attitude and then slowly as time passes, they lose interest in the journey and the goal.

Don’t forget the small stuff! It can take such a lot of effort and time to reach our big life goals, that most people adapt, shrink or simply quit their dreams. Something I like to do with my clients is to get them into the habit of setting smaller, short and medium term goals too. Things that will keep them interested along the journey and as they progress towards their main goal, they get into the habit of being focused on what they want in life. For some this takes the form of setting small steps towards their bigger goals, for others it involves setting short term goals that are independent of their bigger goals. The majority of people mix the two - myself included.

From observation it appears that men are particularly good at setting medium to long term goals and not so good at setting small, short term goals whereas women are good at the small, short-term goals and less inclined to think long term. Obviously, this is certainly not always the case, it’s simply an observation from my experience.

To me, a healthy balance of short, medium and long term goals is essential as I progress through my life. I love being able to tick off my goals, even the smallest ones are immensely satisfying. If you are not used to setting goals, or are really good at the big ones, but give no thought or attention to the little ones, then set a goal for today. How about setting a goal to make someone smile, or even better to make someone’s day?

Get a dream/goal book and begin to write down everything you want from your life and then spend time with it daily, making additions, notes, sticking in photos or magazine clippings. Really focus your attention on what you want from your life in every day and every moment and you’ll be on the road to a life of your dreams. As a guide, you can use the following categories to prompt you:

Career, Money, Health, Friends, Family, Romance/love, Personal Growth/Spiritual, Fun and Recreation, Physical Environment

Technorati Tags: dream goal, dreams, focus, goal, Goals, goals and dreams, life goals, medium term goals, setting goals

To me the secret to living a wonderful life, filled with joyous experience and happiness, lies in knowing what you want. For some people this is extremely challenging and just to contemplate it causes them a headache. I’m pretty sure that this is normal.

The easiest way to tackle this is to begin to practice. Start simple with a small scrap of paper with 3 or 4 things on it that you want. It doesn’t have to be major things, anything will do. The most important thing is to have a list! Now the first thing that can happen here is that as you sit down to write your list your mind delivers a stream of useless advice - such as, “You don’t really want that”, “What do you want that for?” or “Don’t be stupid!” Most people crumple under the pressure and don’t bother. Here’s that old saying - “If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten.”

So, make a decision that inspite of the negative doubts and self-critical thoughts, you are going to compile this list; even if they do seem silly or you feel stupid doing it.

Done that? Really? Do it now.

Ok, so now you have your list of things - we’re going to call this Life’s Shopping List. First things first, these are going to be things that you want and most of the time (but not always) they involve some kind of financial commitment. Make a promise to yourself that you are going to use money you have earned and not money you have borrowed from a bank, credit card or from money you would use to pay your bills. If this is not possible for you then get some financial help and sort out your money first.

Now, select one of these things as a goal - it’s best if it’s likely to take you about 2 or 3 months to complete or save for. Next - set a plan. Are there things you need to do in order to make it happen? List them down. How much money do you have to put aside in order to make it happen? Where are you going to save the money?

Lastly - the fun part! Working towards your goal and then the celebration. Find someone to be accountable to, if it helps you. Your family or friends are usually the best people to start with; or of course you can hire a Life Coach. You can do simple things like stick a photo of your goal on the fridge to keep you motivated towards it.

If you need to, you can review the goal as you are working towards it and if necessary adjust the timings accordingly. If you’ve selected something simple as your first goal, then hopefully this will not be necessary and you’ll soon be celebrating your achievement.

Once you’ve done it once, it’s a simple matter of rinse and repeat. You certainly don’t have to restrict yourself to one goal at a time - it’s likely that you’ll have many on the go at once, some short-term, some longer-term plans. A great idea is to get yourself a dream book and begin to fill it with things that you’d like to be, do or have. Some categories to help you think: Home, Physical, Service, Family, Spiritual, Relationships, Work, Money, Personal.

I like to have one goal per page of my book and then I can make notes and stick in photos and other things as I’m moving towards them. It’s wonderful to sit every day for a few minutes and review your achievements and progress and maybe add a few more things that you’d like.

For those of you for whom thinking of things that you want is difficult, as you practice you’ll find it gets easier as you start to achieve little things.

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This is a question that always makes me think. There are so many books, courses and other media that we have available which mention positive thinking as a key to having a wonderful, enriched and fulfilled life. Some of them appear to suggest that through the power of thought alone, we can literally create anything we want for ourselves. Now, I’ve believed three different ideas here - the first that positive thinking alone can provide you with everything; another that positive thinking is a complete load of codswallop; and the last that positive thinking is vital, however it is only the first step to creating that which we want.

I’m currently of the opinion that positive thinking is vital, but we need to add the other two parts to complete the process. These two parts are words and actions. I remember something from my childhood about “thought, word and deed” which is a useful phrase here. The idea that thoughts create words, which in turn create deeds (or actions) and the actions create that which we want.

The first position here (certainly the one which I first occupied) is the belief that positive thinking is a load of rubbish, new-age thinking that doesn’t get anyone anywhere in life, because you have to work hard to get anywhere etc, etc. There is certainly value in this belief, I perhaps would question if this is the most blind place to be as this type of person is unlikely to consider the possibility that they may be wrong. Of course I’m not saying that they are!

The second position, where simply by thinking, we can create whatever we want is a wonderful place to be (provided it is working out for us) otherwise there is the possibility that we will go back to the first position or will decide that the third position is more appropriate. This position is perhaps on the surface the most appealing, because it involves very little responsibility and action on our parts. I personally have spent a good deal of my life in this place, however the lack of results may also be attributed to a lack of belief in my goals.

The third position, where I am currently choosing to reside, recognises the value of positive thinking and believes that it is a tool for us to create words and actions that will bring our desires into our reality. To me this is enormously attractive as my joy in life is often found in the journey towards my goals, although they taste pretty sweet when they arrive! The sense of achievement that my thoughts, words and actions have created is a wonderful reward in itself.

I am not a proponent of any type of thinking, I believe that the value of life is to think what you like. I simply ask you to consider your thoughts on this question, even if you think like me, consider the value of the other positions and question your own belief and thinking to either strengthen or create a new way of thinking that is better suited to you. As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts, ideas or opinions on this question.

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A colleague of mine from a few years ago gave me a wonderful idea for New Year and I’d like to share that here. At midnight as the year changes click your fingers. Then the following year do the same, as the year changes click your fingers. This is a wonderful opportunity for you to quickly review your year and remember all the goals and promises you made to yourself for that year. It’s also incredible to find yourself clicking your fingers again so soon after you last did it! I recommend that if you decide to do this, you personalise it to yourself - for example, I make 1 or 2 key promises or goals to myself and then next time I click I can review, celebrate or fix if necessary.

I hope you will find this simple thing as rewarding as I have over the last few years.

On behalf of Aquarius Coaching, please accept my wishes for an incredible year ahead and we look forward to working with so many of you and your goals, dreams and aspirations in the times ahead.

Kind regards, Dan O’Neil

Technorati Tags: Celebrate, Clicks, Goals, midnight, New Year, promises