I work with a great deal of people who are fantastic at setting massive goals and dreams. For some people this is enough and they have a goal which consumes them and they single mindedly work towards it and ultimately achieve it. For others, they generally set off with a great attitude and then slowly as time passes, they lose interest in the journey and the goal.

Don’t forget the small stuff! It can take such a lot of effort and time to reach our big life goals, that most people adapt, shrink or simply quit their dreams. Something I like to do with my clients is to get them into the habit of setting smaller, short and medium term goals too. Things that will keep them interested along the journey and as they progress towards their main goal, they get into the habit of being focused on what they want in life. For some this takes the form of setting small steps towards their bigger goals, for others it involves setting short term goals that are independent of their bigger goals. The majority of people mix the two - myself included.

From observation it appears that men are particularly good at setting medium to long term goals and not so good at setting small, short term goals whereas women are good at the small, short-term goals and less inclined to think long term. Obviously, this is certainly not always the case, it’s simply an observation from my experience.

To me, a healthy balance of short, medium and long term goals is essential as I progress through my life. I love being able to tick off my goals, even the smallest ones are immensely satisfying. If you are not used to setting goals, or are really good at the big ones, but give no thought or attention to the little ones, then set a goal for today. How about setting a goal to make someone smile, or even better to make someone’s day?

Get a dream/goal book and begin to write down everything you want from your life and then spend time with it daily, making additions, notes, sticking in photos or magazine clippings. Really focus your attention on what you want from your life in every day and every moment and you’ll be on the road to a life of your dreams. As a guide, you can use the following categories to prompt you:

Career, Money, Health, Friends, Family, Romance/love, Personal Growth/Spiritual, Fun and Recreation, Physical Environment

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Technorati Tags: dream goal, dreams, focus, goal, Goals, goals and dreams, life goals, medium term goals, setting goals

I was thinking recently about the day that I finished working and moved into the world of being my own boss. I can remember the feelings well: excitement, fear, uncertainty and joy. I was taking a chance on something that I really believed in and although things didn’t move in the direction I had planned, I have never had any regrets over the decision. Indeed, had that decision been avoided or not taken, then I would not be the person who I am today.

I meet a considerable amount of people in my work who are in the position of making these kinds of decisions. Time and time again, once all the research and planning is complete, it comes down to a decision based on strength of belief and a gut feeling. I have never encountered anyone who has made a decision from this place who has ever regretted it. Even if things don’t work out, the learnings and understandings that come as a result of their decision are worth so much more than if they had chosen to do nothing.

Time and time again, people overcome their fears and step into the unknown and flourish. The people who don’t take chances very often find themselves looking back and wondering what might have been. For me that decision was one of the major points in my life and if I do catch myself looking back, it’s in joy and gratitude that I made that decision.

I’m certainly not encouraging impulsive or rash decisions; if you’re in this position then it’s usually a great idea to get some help - obviously I’m going to recommend life coaching now, but there are many ways of getting help and exploring these ideas. The people around you are often a great resource, although sometimes they are a little biased or protective because they care and do not want to see you fail or be hurt.

Technorati Tags: belief, decision, excitement, fear, fears, gratitude, gut feeling, learnings, Life Coaching, rash decisions, regrets, taking a chance, taking chances, uncertainty

It doesn’t happen all that often to me now, but occasionally I find that I lack motivation to do the jobs I have to do. This evening was one such time and if I didn’t know my signals better, I’d have simply written it off. However, I recognise the signs well and most of the time I can suspend my negative thinking and get on with things anyway.

I think the key to success in this area is in learning about yourself - what are the triggers and the warning signs that you are about to enter some thinking that will stop you getting on with your work or life. For me, I have some internal dialogue (voices in my head!) that give me helpful advice or sometimes tell me that I must be coming down with something. The older, less wise, versions of myself used to take these nuggets as truths and procrastinate like crazy. Normally this would have resulted in some kind of cold - or at least a bigger mess for not having done the work.

Now these voices are much quieter and I consider myself very fortunate to be able to hear them for what they are… EXCUSES. I know this about myself and I am able to take responsibility for the fact that I simply don’t want to have to do whatever it is I know I have to do. Once I realise, the task can be started and completed and 99% of the time, it’s much more fun than I imagined it would be.

Technorati Tags: excuses excuses, internal dialogue, lack, learning, motivation, negative thinking, responsibility, signals, success, voices in my head, warning signs, work

It’s normally around now that most people realise that we’re a good way into the year and they’ve not done too well on their promises to themselves. If you are in this boat, then the first thing you’ll do, of course, is to berate yourself about it. Obviously this makes you feel wonderful and all the more motivated to get into action! No?

So, clearly this method of motivation is largely unsuccessful, rather like a parent in a sports game who tells their child exactly what they are doing wrong and then expects them to perform to the most incredible standard, which of course would not be good enough. If you hadn’t already realised, we all have this parent that dwells inside us, ready to pounce on any slight deviation from perfection. This “Critical Parent” (or Controlling Parent - from the Transactional Analysis model) seeks to keep us on the straight and narrow, performing to the best of our ability. Even without too much psycho-babble and explanation, it is clearly not a fast route to success or motivation.

The most wonderful thing about any type of situation where we want to make change is that the key to it is awareness. So the first step is simply to be vigilant and be aware when such situations like this occur. When you notice the voice in your head being critical and saying that you need to get on with it, or do things differently, because you are aware of it, you have the power to react in any way you choose. For me, I find that a big smile back at the voice completely disarms it and enables me to become motivated rather than it disabling me. The beauty in this is that you can find your own way of reacting that will help you to keep or become more motivated to make the changes you desire.

It takes time, the first thing that usually happens is that you notice later and then you criticise yourself for not noticing at the time, which you may or may not notice as you do this! With practice, patience and a reminder that you are still learning and actually spotting it late is better than you’ve ever done before, this way of dealing with your inner critic will help you live a more motivated life.

Technorati Tags: Awareness, Change, Choice, learning, motivation, parenting, promises, psycho babble, reaction, tips, transactional analysis