It’s normally around now that most people realise that we’re a good way into the year and they’ve not done too well on their promises to themselves. If you are in this boat, then the first thing you’ll do, of course, is to berate yourself about it. Obviously this makes you feel wonderful and all the more motivated to get into action! No?

So, clearly this method of motivation is largely unsuccessful, rather like a parent in a sports game who tells their child exactly what they are doing wrong and then expects them to perform to the most incredible standard, which of course would not be good enough. If you hadn’t already realised, we all have this parent that dwells inside us, ready to pounce on any slight deviation from perfection. This “Critical Parent” (or Controlling Parent - from the Transactional Analysis model) seeks to keep us on the straight and narrow, performing to the best of our ability. Even without too much psycho-babble and explanation, it is clearly not a fast route to success or motivation.

The most wonderful thing about any type of situation where we want to make change is that the key to it is awareness. So the first step is simply to be vigilant and be aware when such situations like this occur. When you notice the voice in your head being critical and saying that you need to get on with it, or do things differently, because you are aware of it, you have the power to react in any way you choose. For me, I find that a big smile back at the voice completely disarms it and enables me to become motivated rather than it disabling me. The beauty in this is that you can find your own way of reacting that will help you to keep or become more motivated to make the changes you desire.

It takes time, the first thing that usually happens is that you notice later and then you criticise yourself for not noticing at the time, which you may or may not notice as you do this! With practice, patience and a reminder that you are still learning and actually spotting it late is better than you’ve ever done before, this way of dealing with your inner critic will help you live a more motivated life.

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Technorati Tags: Awareness, Change, Choice, learning, motivation, parenting, promises, psycho babble, reaction, tips, transactional analysis

One of the more common challenges that people face is determining what it is that they want. Some people are really good at it and have long lists of things that they strive to achieve, create and buy. Other people have difficulty even determining one or two things that really motivate them to be, do or have anything.

This can be disconcerting and if you find yourself in this position, there is a high likelihood that you will not achieve very much. To use an oft quoted adage, it’s like shooting a gun with no target to aim for - you have no idea what you are going to hit.

So what do people in this position do? People in this position tend to pick up or adopt the ideas, goals and aspirations of the people around them; often those people who they admire most or respect for one reason or another. This is ok, however given that we live in a world where choices are limitless and anything we can think of, we can achieve, this situation is far from ideal.

The likelihood of chancing on something that really spurs you to action is very low indeed. So what can be done? Well, talking to someone is a great first step. Certainly a Life Coach can help with this challenge, as can a great number of personal development tapes, books, cds, courses and other media. You can visit our company site for ideas and information on this.

What else can be done? Well for some it can be as simple as making a conscious decision to become more aware of their positive emotions. By this, I mean becoming more aware when you are excited, happy, positive and other nice feelings. These are your clues and cues as to what it is that you like to do, what you like to have, where you like to be etc. It’s one of those habits that with a little practice can become automatic and give you all sorts of insights into what, deep down, you really want.

This simple little decision to become more aware of your positive emotions is useful even if you have a long list of goals. It can help you hone your goal list and ensure that only the things that most excite you get to qualify.

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Technorati Tags: Awareness, Choice, Coaching, feelings, Goals