I’ve just been adding a few appointments to the diary for next week and I was thinking that as it’s Thursday that we’re nearing the end of the week. It was then that I noticed that actually Thursday is the middle of the week (Monday to Sunday) and there is still almost half a week left of this one. It strikes me that perhaps time is the only thing we treat in this way… for example there are not many people who get half way through a drink and think that they are nearing the end of it!

It’s so easy for us to slip into the trap of living from our free time to our next free time (for most, weekend to weekend) that we forget about the moment. Work occupies so much of our lives and for the vast majority of people, there is no excitement or will to be working. I feel privileged to be doing something that I love, to the point that it no longer feels like work. So for most, there are 5 days of 7 spent dealing (and accumulating stress) with something that enables us to have 2 days that we can call our own. To me it seems as though this is a really sorry state of affairs and one that can be really helped by a shift in attitude.

I’m always banging on about how we need dreams and goals in our lives to make sense and meaning out of the work that we do and I guess that’s one way to help us to remain present and focused during the times we spend at work.  If you find yourself in this space of living from precious weekend to precious weekend, with the inconvenience of work in between then the chances are that you do not have personal goals in place to be working towards. It becomes too easy to be tired when you get home and even bring work home to the point where you have neither the time nor energy to do anything in your free time. I suppose this is what is called the daily grind!

In the absence of finding what you love to do for a living, then find what you love to do in your spare time and use your living to fund and facilitate that. I often have clients who tell me that they are in a place that they wouldn’t describe as being depressed, but they are feeling unhappy about their lives. In the vast majority of these cases, simply plugging them back into their personal goals in life, transforms how they are feeling and they are able to move forward in all aspects of their lives.

If you are living your life from weekend to weekend or day-off to day-off, then make sure you have some personal goals in place that will help you to keep upbeat and positive in the stressful times you may be experiencing.

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Technorati Tags: being, dreams, excitement, focus, free time, goal, Goals, love, meaning, personal goals, present, shift, sorry state of affairs, spare time, thinking, weekend, work

I find the phrase Comfort Zone to be quite a paradox. I’m yet to meet someone who is in their comfort zone who truly feels comfortable there. I’ll admit that there have been times when I’ve chosen to remain in my comfort zone, however that place to me is full of fear and uncertainty - not quite what I expect Comfort to be.

Answer me this question, “If the vast majority of people live and operate in their Comfort Zones, how come the vast majority of people are so negative and miserable?”

So why exactly is it called the Comfort Zone? Well my theory (conspiracy theorists will love this) is that it’s become known as the Comfort Zone to attract the general population to remain in that place and not rise up and reach their full potential. It certainly does the trick and we do little to dissuade people that there is more comfort, happiness and love to be found outside the comfort zone. In fact we create fear when we ask them to leave the comfort zone - they believe that they are going to be uncomfortable outside of it.

This is perhaps a time to consider changing our terminology; why not call the comfort zone the “discomfort zone” and call the outside place the “freedom zone”? We can now invite people to step into the freedom zone, the place where change is possible and our fears are overcome and diminished, and away from the discomfort zone.

To me the bottom line is that being in the comfort zone means we live in fear of not being comfortable and this paralyses people into staying put. Changing the way we describe these zones will create a new sense of identity with them for most people. I’d be willing to bet that most people would prefer to be in a freedom zone than a discomfort zone.

So, if you wish, I’d encourage you to step into your Freedom Zone and leave behind your discomfort zone.

Technorati Tags: being, Change, comfort zone, conspiracy theorists, discomfort, fear, freedom zone, happiness, love, population

As a teenager, I can remember a time when I was performing piano at a private function in a local stately home that was used for conferences and weddings. There were five of us, from the same school, all taking it in turns to play. I remember watching a lad who was a couple of years my junior and who didn’t read music, he simply played what he wanted to and he played wonderfully.

I found this quite extraordinary as I had never encountered someone with such an ability before. I simply couldn’t envisage myself doing this, without any music at all. He improvised and played things he’d heard before and to be totally honest I found myself feeling immensely jealous as I sat and listened to him. I asked him questions about how he could do such a thing and generally sat there in total awe.

A little while later it was my turn to play and I had the amazing experience of having the roles reversed. As I played, this young lad sat transfixed and then in between pieces he asked me loads of questions about how I could do such a thing. At this young age, I was unable to register the fact that he was in awe of my ability to read music and I went home feeling all miserable about not being able to play without!

Now, when I have time, I like to sit and play. This evening I was playing one of the pieces that I vividly remember playing, all those years ago and it reminded me of this event in my life. Luckily, I now appreciate the skill that I have been developing for almost 30 years and the jealousy is no more. However, there is a really important point here… the majority of us compare ourselves constantly to other people and, rightly or wrongly, to our perception of other people’s standards.

What if we take this example where two young boys sat in awe of each other, each considering the other’s talent something so far out of their reach, that they felt something missing in themselves. What if… these same two boys had simply celebrated the achievements of the other and their own achievements, without feeling a sense of lack? What if… we do this in our own lives? What if… we set our own standards and measured them solely against our own standards and not someone elses?

Unless your life or livelihood depends on being no.1 against every other human being, why waste the time beating yourself up for being no.2 or no. 200 or even no. 2 billion? Be your own Number 1. Be the Best You.

Technorati Tags: ability, awe, being, experience, jealousy, lack, livelihood, Number 1, perception, read music, school, skill, teenager