Dealing with aggressive and angry people can be a daunting prospect for many of us. Some people have such a hard time asserting themselves that they become very passive.

One of the easiest ways to deal with someone who is displaying aggressive or angry behaviour is to identify their emotion to them. I find it helpful to use their name also.

e.g. “John, you seem really angry about this” or “Sally, I can see that you’re really angry about this” - don’t add any comebacks, defenses or buts to this.

You’ll either find they back down and sometimes they will apologise for their behaviour; or they will agree with you, but because they feel understood, they are likely to calm down and enter into a discussion.

In the times where they remain in their aggressive or angry state, it is often best to explain that you can’t deal with them at this time.

The main thing is to remain calm and not retaliate. Try to understand their feelings and you will have a better chance of getting to the point where you can talk adult to adult. If it’s clear you are not going to get anywhere then take time-out and meet up later.

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