For most of my life I have tried to do less and achieve more. For the most part this has been in vain! However it has always been in my mind that the belief, “you have to work hard to get anywhere in life”, really doesn’t fit for me. I appreciate that the people who might be considered successful actually seem to work hard, however there is much more to the story than simply putting in the hours and watching the success and money roll in.

You have to do something that you love. Something that you love to do is never a chore; it never seems like hard work and it always leaves you feeling energised. The belief that you have to work hard to get anywhere in life, on the surface seems true. All the evidence of successful people points to working hard, for long hours and normally struggling to make ends meet in the beginning.

However, if it is something you love to do, it will never feel like hard work, the hours will never seem long and the struggle is all part of the fun of the journey. So many people have said that the joy is in the journey, not the destination. Of course, without a destination there can be no journey.

The bottom line is that you are the one who says what is hard work for you. If you feel as though you are working hard and struggling all the time with it, the chances are that you do not love what you do and there may be a better choice for you. Now before you go and quit your job and live out your lifelong dream… get some help and support - friends, family, maybe even a coach (of course I’d love to help you!) and make sensible plans to create the changes you wish to see.

If you already do what you love to do, then I expect you feel the way that I do, that work doesn’t feel like work! If not, find what you love to do and join the rising number of people who are creating their life purpose on their own terms.

You can also subscribe via email and receive my free eBook "7 Mistakes that People Make in Life... and how to avoid them" by signing up on the top right of this blog.

Technorati Tags: Change, Choice, coach, Creating, family, friends family, how, journey, joy, Life Purpose, lifelong dream, money, Plan, purpose, success, support friends, work

I’ve always been surprised about how people’s mood and feelings can be linked to the weather. There is much talk in the media about Seasonal Affected Disorder (SAD) where people have a tendency to be depressed during the winter months when it’s colder and darker.

Today I experienced the opposite. It was very sunny this morning as I drove to a session and I could see the shadows the clouds were making on the fields and the music on the radio was very summery; I found myself feeling genuinely elated.

This got me thinking and wondering how it might be possible to use this wonderful elated state to our advantage and strive to remain in this place as often as possible. My first thought was around the NLP technique of anchoring, where you use some physical device to link your memory, feelings and state to. For example, if you feel wonderful and then pinch the area between your thumb and forefinger, you can then create a link and perform the pinch at any time you wish to feel wonderful again.

But what else? I’m really wondering at the moment if it’s as simple as a choice. The decision to feel happy or elated or wonderful all the time. From my own personal development and self-improvement journey, I certainly feel happy for the vast majority of the time, however this feeling of elation felt much more than simply happy. My thought is that perhaps this is our natural state of joy and it is certainly something that I aspire to feel all the time.

I’m really wondering what kind of world we’d all create if we all simply felt elated and joyful all the time? Imagine a time where we all go to the doctors worrying about whether we feel too happy!

I’m fascinated by this subject and I welcome comments, feedback, suggestions or ideas that you may have about this.

Technorati Tags: Choice, Creating, elation, experience, feelings, happiness, health, joy, positive thinking, sad, seasonal affected disorder, thoughts, weather

It’s normally around now that most people realise that we’re a good way into the year and they’ve not done too well on their promises to themselves. If you are in this boat, then the first thing you’ll do, of course, is to berate yourself about it. Obviously this makes you feel wonderful and all the more motivated to get into action! No?

So, clearly this method of motivation is largely unsuccessful, rather like a parent in a sports game who tells their child exactly what they are doing wrong and then expects them to perform to the most incredible standard, which of course would not be good enough. If you hadn’t already realised, we all have this parent that dwells inside us, ready to pounce on any slight deviation from perfection. This “Critical Parent” (or Controlling Parent - from the Transactional Analysis model) seeks to keep us on the straight and narrow, performing to the best of our ability. Even without too much psycho-babble and explanation, it is clearly not a fast route to success or motivation.

The most wonderful thing about any type of situation where we want to make change is that the key to it is awareness. So the first step is simply to be vigilant and be aware when such situations like this occur. When you notice the voice in your head being critical and saying that you need to get on with it, or do things differently, because you are aware of it, you have the power to react in any way you choose. For me, I find that a big smile back at the voice completely disarms it and enables me to become motivated rather than it disabling me. The beauty in this is that you can find your own way of reacting that will help you to keep or become more motivated to make the changes you desire.

It takes time, the first thing that usually happens is that you notice later and then you criticise yourself for not noticing at the time, which you may or may not notice as you do this! With practice, patience and a reminder that you are still learning and actually spotting it late is better than you’ve ever done before, this way of dealing with your inner critic will help you live a more motivated life.

Technorati Tags: Awareness, Change, Choice, learning, motivation, parenting, promises, psycho babble, reaction, tips, transactional analysis

Choice is a wonderful topic for a personal development and self-improvement blog to consider. It is for me one of the fundamentals for living a fulfilling life. The more options you can perceive, the more opportunity you have to express who you really are.

If every moment is a choice, then we are simply expressing ourselves as we are in each moment. The choices we make define our own definitions - right, wrong; hot, cold; fun, boring; good, bad etc. It is how we express what we feel about the world we are creating.

There are many who believe (myself included) that what we bring or attract to ourselves is ours to choose. In fact it may be that we attract these things in order to express who we truly are through the choices we then make. Our re-actions are our choice… This is often a sticking point!

Our choice of language often betrays us, we say things like, “That makes me angry.” This gives us no ownership or responsibility for our reactions and feelings. A more empowering statement is, “I’m feeling angry”, or even better, “I’m choosing to feel angry about this.” This concept that we are choosing our feeling gives us the opportunity to choose a different feeling or reaction, the first example has no such opportunity.

There are many books, recordings and such that can help us consider these ideas and our understanding of how our choices impact on our lives. Understanding choice in an abundant life is the key to taking charge and moving away from being the victim of your life to becoming the creator of your experience.

Subscribe to Create the Life You Want by Email

Technorati Tags: Attraction, Choice, Creating, language, reaction, responsibility

Most people at one time or another have a sense that they are creating their experience through their thoughts and the words they use. The phrase “self-fulfilling prophecies” is an understanding of this, although we often use it jokingly as though it is something to do with fate or destiny.

I am a firm believer that fate or destiny is your choice and I recognise that this is only an opinion. If fate works for you then that’s great - without variety there would be little to learn from or improve.

For a rich, fulfilling life, choice is vital - every choice you make is a brand new opportunity for you to experience who you really are. In a place of destiny or fate, choice is somehow pre-determined for you by some other force outside yourself and your understanding. To me this is a default setting where you get what you are given. This is a perfectly wonderful place and most people are content with this as it doesn’t require much thought.

The people who take control and create and shape their experience are never content at the default setting where fate operates. If things do not go their way, they change them. Their destiny is in their own hands and they state what their destiny is, not what other people or other “forces” say it is.

Subscribe to Create the Life You Want by Email

Technorati Tags: Choice, Creating, destiny, fate