I have recently had the privilege to work alongside a colleague in the Coaching profession, who works with a class of students from a college (aged between 18 and 24). We did a couple of exercises with them to help them with their preparations for their careers and it was extremely rewarding to be involved. The general theme of the classes is around them discussing their issues and then proposing together some strategies and ideas to help them all move forward. In this particular industry, this co-creative learning is virtually unheard of and the challenges of competition create more of a dog-eat-dog environment.

My brief observation at the time was that for many of these young men and women, this is likely to be the first time that they have ever had to think for themselves. The general theme of most teaching of children in schools and adults in university is about how things are done and learning to do things the way they’ve always been done. (Clearly there are going to be exceptions to this.) My description at the time was that here is a class where these people can learn to become adults and independent thinkers.

I’ve been pondering on this experience and observation for a few weeks now and I’m really quite excited about the possibilities of this style of learning and how it might effect us all if we were allowed to create our own learning experience from a much younger age. In this time of prescriptive teaching, standardised testing and general pigeon-holing of our children, surely we are simply creating a generation of children who are ill-equipped to think for themselves and will simply watch TV and play on the Wii until they have to get up and go to work in order that they can be told what to do. I talk to many people who bemoan the fact that some young people starting new jobs seem unable to take initiative and get on with their work, expecting instead to be told what to do all the time. Imagine the possibilities for our world if our next generation emerged from school, college or university able to think for themselves, to challenge existing thinking and make positive marks on the world around them…

It’s not surprising that so many people consider home education or alternative schooling such as Steiner or Montessori education for their children. I have a deep respect for people who are out there enabling this kind of co-creative learning for our children and young adults and take my hat off to you for making a difference not only to the lives of the people you touch, but also to the lives of the people they touch.

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Technorati Tags: children, Coaching, Creating, empowering, experience, learning, parenting

I once learned from a colleague a very useful and very powerful idea regarding empowering yourself by choosing the right questions. I’m really not sure where the idea originally came from, however it has been a very useful one for me over the years and I’d love to share it here.

Let me start by asking a question of you… If something that you do not like has happened, what is the first question that pops into your head? For most people, the answer is “Why did that happen?” or “Why does this keep happening to me?”, right before they set about answering the question and going around in circles trying to understand it.

If your goal is self-improvement or to learn from such experiences then this question of “Why?” is very unlikely to provide you with opportunities to learn anything about yourself. The answers are likely to lie in the areas where you have no responsibility, such as other people, objects, or simply the whole concept of “fate” or “destiny”.

My colleague presented me with the word “How” and invited me to question such events by asking things like, “How can I learn from this?” or “How can I create a more positive outcome in the future?”. In these types of questions, your answers are likely to fall into the areas where you have all the responsibility - your thoughts, choices, behaviours and actions. Ok, so it is possible to ask the question “How can they improve?” etc, but this hardly serves to empower you.

So to be truly empowering these “How?” questions need to focus on your role in the event or experience and how you can move forward for now or for next time. This has been quite transformational for me and a great way for me to create myself and shape my experiences in the world.

In coaching, the “How?” questions can really help to move a client forward and create awareness - in this case the questions focus on the client’s thoughts, choices, behaviours and actions.

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Technorati Tags: destiny, empowering, fate, how, why

Something I hear a lot in coaching circles is this idea of being “happy in the not-knowing”. To me it’s like having no expectation or opinion about something you really have no idea about. Examples of this situation include going on a date, a business or sales meeting, a reunion etc. Simply situations where an outcome is not certain, although one or several may be desired.

If you enter into these situations happy in the not-knowing of an outcome, you are able to detach yourself from the outcome and really be yourself. There is a great power in this place - not power in the sense of power over someone or something, but power over yourself. It really is a wonderful place to be - to be truly you is to experience yourself as you really are in that moment.

It’s not an easy thing to do, we have a bunch of limiting beliefs, past experiences, dreams, hormones, desires and other thoughts and things that get in the way. It takes discipline and practice and I’m not suggesting for a second that I’m an expert - it’s just as tough for me!

I encourage my coachees to have this attitude and it seems to me that those who can be happy in the not-knowing have more successful experiences in their sessions. (Although of course success is subjective and I understand it is only my opinion here.)

Try it - if it works for you, practice and enjoy it! If not, then that’s great too.

As always I love to read your comments and feedback - click the comments link below to leave your comments.

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Technorati Tags: Beliefs, Coaching, empowering, happiness, outcome

One of the exercises in our free eCourse http://www.aquariuscoaching.co.uk/eCourse.html is to take a good hard look in the mirror. It is amazing the power of such a simple thing (you can sign up for details).

Today I’ll be talking about another tip using a mirror. If you are having a conversation with yourself (which is OK by the way!) then conducting the conversation in front of the mirror can really help. It has many benefits:

1. It is much easier to be truthful to yourself when you can see the person in the mirror.
2. You can more easily motivate yourself or give a pep talk.
3. If you have to make a decision, if there is two of you, you feel more supported.
4. Because there are two of you, you will find you have more ideas.
5. It feels like you are connecting with a deeper part of yourself, the part that knows everything and knows no fear, only love.

There is much more, the best way to find out is do it yourself!

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Technorati Tags: empowering, focus, motivation, self-improvement