We live in a world where we expect everything now and while this can be useful, it can seriously get in the way of our growth and personal development. Change is something that takes time… sometimes it’s a life’s work. It can’t be hurried and you can’t make it happen before you are ready for it.

You can go on courses and workshops, read books, listen to audio or watch video and all this will leave you feeling profoundly different. The bottom line is that no one can force you or make you change your life. You have to be willing, be prepared to put in time and effort, and give yourself the time and space to make mistakes. Otherwise all the learning, courses, books and audio/video are a waste.

I learned several years ago that in order to successfully help people turn their lives around and achieve their goals, there has to be a strong desire and commitment to the process of change. Sometimes it can be a rough ride… stamina is a useful thing to have.

I’ve yet to meet anyone who hasn’t felt that the journey has been worth the time and effort. Even when the destination isn’t quite ideal, you learn so much along the way that it’s always worth it.

It strikes me that the main regrets people have are about opportunities they didn’t take and changes they didn’t make. Of course we make poor decisions from time to time, but there is always some good learning to take away from it. Allow this to happen without beating yourself up and you’ll soon be on the right road.

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I’ve just been adding a few appointments to the diary for next week and I was thinking that as it’s Thursday that we’re nearing the end of the week. It was then that I noticed that actually Thursday is the middle of the week (Monday to Sunday) and there is still almost half a week left of this one. It strikes me that perhaps time is the only thing we treat in this way… for example there are not many people who get half way through a drink and think that they are nearing the end of it!

It’s so easy for us to slip into the trap of living from our free time to our next free time (for most, weekend to weekend) that we forget about the moment. Work occupies so much of our lives and for the vast majority of people, there is no excitement or will to be working. I feel privileged to be doing something that I love, to the point that it no longer feels like work. So for most, there are 5 days of 7 spent dealing (and accumulating stress) with something that enables us to have 2 days that we can call our own. To me it seems as though this is a really sorry state of affairs and one that can be really helped by a shift in attitude.

I’m always banging on about how we need dreams and goals in our lives to make sense and meaning out of the work that we do and I guess that’s one way to help us to remain present and focused during the times we spend at work.  If you find yourself in this space of living from precious weekend to precious weekend, with the inconvenience of work in between then the chances are that you do not have personal goals in place to be working towards. It becomes too easy to be tired when you get home and even bring work home to the point where you have neither the time nor energy to do anything in your free time. I suppose this is what is called the daily grind!

In the absence of finding what you love to do for a living, then find what you love to do in your spare time and use your living to fund and facilitate that. I often have clients who tell me that they are in a place that they wouldn’t describe as being depressed, but they are feeling unhappy about their lives. In the vast majority of these cases, simply plugging them back into their personal goals in life, transforms how they are feeling and they are able to move forward in all aspects of their lives.

If you are living your life from weekend to weekend or day-off to day-off, then make sure you have some personal goals in place that will help you to keep upbeat and positive in the stressful times you may be experiencing.

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I work with a great deal of people who are fantastic at setting massive goals and dreams. For some people this is enough and they have a goal which consumes them and they single mindedly work towards it and ultimately achieve it. For others, they generally set off with a great attitude and then slowly as time passes, they lose interest in the journey and the goal.

Don’t forget the small stuff! It can take such a lot of effort and time to reach our big life goals, that most people adapt, shrink or simply quit their dreams. Something I like to do with my clients is to get them into the habit of setting smaller, short and medium term goals too. Things that will keep them interested along the journey and as they progress towards their main goal, they get into the habit of being focused on what they want in life. For some this takes the form of setting small steps towards their bigger goals, for others it involves setting short term goals that are independent of their bigger goals. The majority of people mix the two - myself included.

From observation it appears that men are particularly good at setting medium to long term goals and not so good at setting small, short term goals whereas women are good at the small, short-term goals and less inclined to think long term. Obviously, this is certainly not always the case, it’s simply an observation from my experience.

To me, a healthy balance of short, medium and long term goals is essential as I progress through my life. I love being able to tick off my goals, even the smallest ones are immensely satisfying. If you are not used to setting goals, or are really good at the big ones, but give no thought or attention to the little ones, then set a goal for today. How about setting a goal to make someone smile, or even better to make someone’s day?

Get a dream/goal book and begin to write down everything you want from your life and then spend time with it daily, making additions, notes, sticking in photos or magazine clippings. Really focus your attention on what you want from your life in every day and every moment and you’ll be on the road to a life of your dreams. As a guide, you can use the following categories to prompt you:

Career, Money, Health, Friends, Family, Romance/love, Personal Growth/Spiritual, Fun and Recreation, Physical Environment

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The people I encounter in my coaching work never cease to amaze and astound me. The most common theme amongst people who make something of their lives (by their own definition of course) is that they always use their circumstances to their advantage. Be it ill-health, lack of money, lack of education or skill, whatever their circumstances they do what they want to do anyway; nothing stands in their way.

I’ve certainly met plenty of people who are the opposite - in my network marketing days I encountered so many people for whom their circumstances were the reason they chose not to succeed. Ultimately it all boils down to one thing… EXCUSES!

Life is littered with examples of people who have made fortunes and built incredible companies, organisations and charities in spite of their circumstances and upbringing. To them, it is just a part of life, something to be celebrated and used to motivate them towards their own greatness.

Today, I’d like to ask you which of your circumstances is your excuse for not moving toward your goals and dreams? Ultimately it doesn’t matter what your excuse is - it will prevent you from achieving what you set out to do.

Start by celebrating your circumstances - after all you would not be you today without them!

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To me the secret to living a wonderful life, filled with joyous experience and happiness, lies in knowing what you want. For some people this is extremely challenging and just to contemplate it causes them a headache. I’m pretty sure that this is normal.

The easiest way to tackle this is to begin to practice. Start simple with a small scrap of paper with 3 or 4 things on it that you want. It doesn’t have to be major things, anything will do. The most important thing is to have a list! Now the first thing that can happen here is that as you sit down to write your list your mind delivers a stream of useless advice - such as, “You don’t really want that”, “What do you want that for?” or “Don’t be stupid!” Most people crumple under the pressure and don’t bother. Here’s that old saying - “If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten.”

So, make a decision that inspite of the negative doubts and self-critical thoughts, you are going to compile this list; even if they do seem silly or you feel stupid doing it.

Done that? Really? Do it now.

Ok, so now you have your list of things - we’re going to call this Life’s Shopping List. First things first, these are going to be things that you want and most of the time (but not always) they involve some kind of financial commitment. Make a promise to yourself that you are going to use money you have earned and not money you have borrowed from a bank, credit card or from money you would use to pay your bills. If this is not possible for you then get some financial help and sort out your money first.

Now, select one of these things as a goal - it’s best if it’s likely to take you about 2 or 3 months to complete or save for. Next - set a plan. Are there things you need to do in order to make it happen? List them down. How much money do you have to put aside in order to make it happen? Where are you going to save the money?

Lastly - the fun part! Working towards your goal and then the celebration. Find someone to be accountable to, if it helps you. Your family or friends are usually the best people to start with; or of course you can hire a Life Coach. You can do simple things like stick a photo of your goal on the fridge to keep you motivated towards it.

If you need to, you can review the goal as you are working towards it and if necessary adjust the timings accordingly. If you’ve selected something simple as your first goal, then hopefully this will not be necessary and you’ll soon be celebrating your achievement.

Once you’ve done it once, it’s a simple matter of rinse and repeat. You certainly don’t have to restrict yourself to one goal at a time - it’s likely that you’ll have many on the go at once, some short-term, some longer-term plans. A great idea is to get yourself a dream book and begin to fill it with things that you’d like to be, do or have. Some categories to help you think: Home, Physical, Service, Family, Spiritual, Relationships, Work, Money, Personal.

I like to have one goal per page of my book and then I can make notes and stick in photos and other things as I’m moving towards them. It’s wonderful to sit every day for a few minutes and review your achievements and progress and maybe add a few more things that you’d like.

For those of you for whom thinking of things that you want is difficult, as you practice you’ll find it gets easier as you start to achieve little things.

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