It doesn’t happen all that often to me now, but occasionally I find that I lack motivation to do the jobs I have to do. This evening was one such time and if I didn’t know my signals better, I’d have simply written it off. However, I recognise the signs well and most of the time I can suspend my negative thinking and get on with things anyway.

I think the key to success in this area is in learning about yourself - what are the triggers and the warning signs that you are about to enter some thinking that will stop you getting on with your work or life. For me, I have some internal dialogue (voices in my head!) that give me helpful advice or sometimes tell me that I must be coming down with something. The older, less wise, versions of myself used to take these nuggets as truths and procrastinate like crazy. Normally this would have resulted in some kind of cold - or at least a bigger mess for not having done the work.

Now these voices are much quieter and I consider myself very fortunate to be able to hear them for what they are… EXCUSES. I know this about myself and I am able to take responsibility for the fact that I simply don’t want to have to do whatever it is I know I have to do. Once I realise, the task can be started and completed and 99% of the time, it’s much more fun than I imagined it would be.

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Technorati Tags: excuses excuses, internal dialogue, lack, learning, motivation, negative thinking, responsibility, signals, success, voices in my head, warning signs, work

It’s normally around now that most people realise that we’re a good way into the year and they’ve not done too well on their promises to themselves. If you are in this boat, then the first thing you’ll do, of course, is to berate yourself about it. Obviously this makes you feel wonderful and all the more motivated to get into action! No?

So, clearly this method of motivation is largely unsuccessful, rather like a parent in a sports game who tells their child exactly what they are doing wrong and then expects them to perform to the most incredible standard, which of course would not be good enough. If you hadn’t already realised, we all have this parent that dwells inside us, ready to pounce on any slight deviation from perfection. This “Critical Parent” (or Controlling Parent - from the Transactional Analysis model) seeks to keep us on the straight and narrow, performing to the best of our ability. Even without too much psycho-babble and explanation, it is clearly not a fast route to success or motivation.

The most wonderful thing about any type of situation where we want to make change is that the key to it is awareness. So the first step is simply to be vigilant and be aware when such situations like this occur. When you notice the voice in your head being critical and saying that you need to get on with it, or do things differently, because you are aware of it, you have the power to react in any way you choose. For me, I find that a big smile back at the voice completely disarms it and enables me to become motivated rather than it disabling me. The beauty in this is that you can find your own way of reacting that will help you to keep or become more motivated to make the changes you desire.

It takes time, the first thing that usually happens is that you notice later and then you criticise yourself for not noticing at the time, which you may or may not notice as you do this! With practice, patience and a reminder that you are still learning and actually spotting it late is better than you’ve ever done before, this way of dealing with your inner critic will help you live a more motivated life.

Technorati Tags: Awareness, Change, Choice, learning, motivation, parenting, promises, psycho babble, reaction, tips, transactional analysis

One of the exercises in our free eCourse http://www.aquariuscoaching.co.uk/eCourse.html is to take a good hard look in the mirror. It is amazing the power of such a simple thing (you can sign up for details).

Today I’ll be talking about another tip using a mirror. If you are having a conversation with yourself (which is OK by the way!) then conducting the conversation in front of the mirror can really help. It has many benefits:

1. It is much easier to be truthful to yourself when you can see the person in the mirror.
2. You can more easily motivate yourself or give a pep talk.
3. If you have to make a decision, if there is two of you, you feel more supported.
4. Because there are two of you, you will find you have more ideas.
5. It feels like you are connecting with a deeper part of yourself, the part that knows everything and knows no fear, only love.

There is much more, the best way to find out is do it yourself!

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Technorati Tags: empowering, focus, motivation, self-improvement