I don’t know if you’ve ever felt like this: you feel unshakable and if things get in the way, you shrug them off or deal with them fast. It’s like being in flow, in the moment or in the zone. In my experience it’s a wonderful place to be and for me it comes about when I am really excited about and totally focused on something.

The real thing here is to establish how you get into that place and then how do you maintain it? To me it boils down to having a purpose or meaning that you are single-mindedly committed to. In that place you are full of confidence (even if a little nervous excitement is present) and great things seem to happen. I think I’ve mentioned before that an old mentor of mine had an expression “Moments of Intensity” and certainly these feel like them.

So how do you find your purpose or meaning? Well, that’s a tough one. I’ve recommended Viktor Frankl’s book, “Man’s Search For Meaning” which will undoubtedly help. I believe that the first place to start is to consider the roles that you have in your life, such as parent, partner, child, sibling, employee, boss, business owner etc and find things in there that you can begin to define your meaning. The bottom line is to find what your life is all about, which is as simple as you stating what that is. As Neale Donald Walsch says in The Secret, there is no blackboard in the sky with your purpose written on it that you have to find. It is your responsibility to define it for yourself and then live your life to the full, expressing yourself through that purpose. There certainly can be more than one, of course one is a good place to start.

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Technorati Tags: Beliefs, confidence, focus, how, meaning, neale donald walsch, Plan, purpose, responsibility

Today I’d like to look at the old adage, “What goes around, comes around”, from the perspective of what I like to think of as a circle of giving and receiving. I personally spent a few years in a place of looking for recognition and sadly received very little. In fact the times I did receive recognition, I was too blinkered by my belief that I wasn’t getting any, to actually notice it.

This pattern continued for me until I discovered the Law of Reciprocity - that states that you have to give in order to receive. For me, this was a whole new concept and I set about giving away recognition in the hope that I would in turn receive some.

However, this was not successful for me at all, and it really took some coaching, a few years ago, for me to determine why. All the time I was giving away recognition, it was on condition that it would be returned to me - to complete the circle of giving and receiving. Because it was conditional recognition, it didn’t really serve any purpose or meaning for either me or the recipient.

My realisation of this enabled me to change my perspective and I no longer give recognition because I feel I have to, in fact I no longer even have need of recognition - although I enjoy it as much as anybody. My detachment and deeper understanding has meant that I now give recognition when I feel I wish to and also I happily and gratefully receive any recognition given to me with no expectations.

This idea of unconditional giving and unconditional receiving - where you are both able to freely give and receive - applies to anything in life, not least of which money, joy and love. I would certainly stress at this point - do not give away anything that you have an attachment to. If there is any doubt in your mind that you are doing this simply to receive in return, then there are conditions on your giving that will break the flow.

There is some very interesting reading on this subject to be found in the Conversations With God series of books by Neale Donald Walsch: When we give something away, the Universe automatically assumes that we have that thing - otherwise how could we give it away! In the case of love and joy, giving love and joy unconditionally will serve to increase the love and joy you have and experience - the same is true of tangible things.

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Technorati Tags: Beliefs, Coaching, giving, neale donald walsch, receiving, reciprocity, recognition

As an Executive and Personal Life Coach, I experience the most amazing things with my clients. The majority of the time, the discussion centres around their goals, dreams, hopes, aspirations etc. for the future. This of course is the main difference between Coaching and Counselling (both of course have their place).

The most astounding sessions occur when a person discovers their inner desires and dreams, that they were previously only superficially aware. Given the opportunity in a session to just talk, people amaze themselves by their level of understanding and knowledge of themselves. Even people who think or believe they have no goals, find things deep within themselves that they can strive for and will ultimately bring meaning and purpose to their existence. Of course, there is no secret meaning or purpose, nor is there a destined meaning or purpose for any of us. As Neale Donald Walsch states in The Secret, “Your purpose is what you say it is.”

The beauty is in the discovery. The un-covering of desires and dreams that can allow a person to change from one who simply exists, to one who creates. They create opportunity, wealth, health, leadership, joy, happiness and many, many other wonderful things in their lives.

We’d all be a whole lot happier if perhaps we understood that the “purpose of life” is to figure out what the “purpose of my life” is.

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Technorati Tags: Coaching, Goals, meaning, neale donald walsch, purpose