I’ve always been surprised about how people’s mood and feelings can be linked to the weather. There is much talk in the media about Seasonal Affected Disorder (SAD) where people have a tendency to be depressed during the winter months when it’s colder and darker.

Today I experienced the opposite. It was very sunny this morning as I drove to a session and I could see the shadows the clouds were making on the fields and the music on the radio was very summery; I found myself feeling genuinely elated.

This got me thinking and wondering how it might be possible to use this wonderful elated state to our advantage and strive to remain in this place as often as possible. My first thought was around the NLP technique of anchoring, where you use some physical device to link your memory, feelings and state to. For example, if you feel wonderful and then pinch the area between your thumb and forefinger, you can then create a link and perform the pinch at any time you wish to feel wonderful again.

But what else? I’m really wondering at the moment if it’s as simple as a choice. The decision to feel happy or elated or wonderful all the time. From my own personal development and self-improvement journey, I certainly feel happy for the vast majority of the time, however this feeling of elation felt much more than simply happy. My thought is that perhaps this is our natural state of joy and it is certainly something that I aspire to feel all the time.

I’m really wondering what kind of world we’d all create if we all simply felt elated and joyful all the time? Imagine a time where we all go to the doctors worrying about whether we feel too happy!

I’m fascinated by this subject and I welcome comments, feedback, suggestions or ideas that you may have about this.

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Technorati Tags: Choice, Creating, elation, experience, feelings, happiness, health, joy, positive thinking, sad, seasonal affected disorder, thoughts, weather

This is a question that always makes me think. There are so many books, courses and other media that we have available which mention positive thinking as a key to having a wonderful, enriched and fulfilled life. Some of them appear to suggest that through the power of thought alone, we can literally create anything we want for ourselves. Now, I’ve believed three different ideas here - the first that positive thinking alone can provide you with everything; another that positive thinking is a complete load of codswallop; and the last that positive thinking is vital, however it is only the first step to creating that which we want.

I’m currently of the opinion that positive thinking is vital, but we need to add the other two parts to complete the process. These two parts are words and actions. I remember something from my childhood about “thought, word and deed” which is a useful phrase here. The idea that thoughts create words, which in turn create deeds (or actions) and the actions create that which we want.

The first position here (certainly the one which I first occupied) is the belief that positive thinking is a load of rubbish, new-age thinking that doesn’t get anyone anywhere in life, because you have to work hard to get anywhere etc, etc. There is certainly value in this belief, I perhaps would question if this is the most blind place to be as this type of person is unlikely to consider the possibility that they may be wrong. Of course I’m not saying that they are!

The second position, where simply by thinking, we can create whatever we want is a wonderful place to be (provided it is working out for us) otherwise there is the possibility that we will go back to the first position or will decide that the third position is more appropriate. This position is perhaps on the surface the most appealing, because it involves very little responsibility and action on our parts. I personally have spent a good deal of my life in this place, however the lack of results may also be attributed to a lack of belief in my goals.

The third position, where I am currently choosing to reside, recognises the value of positive thinking and believes that it is a tool for us to create words and actions that will bring our desires into our reality. To me this is enormously attractive as my joy in life is often found in the journey towards my goals, although they taste pretty sweet when they arrive! The sense of achievement that my thoughts, words and actions have created is a wonderful reward in itself.

I am not a proponent of any type of thinking, I believe that the value of life is to think what you like. I simply ask you to consider your thoughts on this question, even if you think like me, consider the value of the other positions and question your own belief and thinking to either strengthen or create a new way of thinking that is better suited to you. As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts, ideas or opinions on this question.

Technorati Tags: Actions, Beliefs, Creating, positive thinking, question, responsibility, thoughts

One of the hardest things to do is to maintain your positivity. Certain situations, events and even people can interfere with even the most positive people.

The challenge is to find something about a situation, or person, that you can be positive about. One trick is to find something that you like about it or them and then to focus only on that, if other thoughts enter your mind then simply let them go and re-focus on the positive ones.

Now obviously at times this is extremely difficult and if particular circumstances are emotionally challenging then this can seem an impossible task. Often in this situation you simply have to dig deep and find something you can be grateful or positive about.

Sometimes it is only possible after the event, or at a time when your emotions are less intense, in which case you can find the positive things at the time you feel ready and then focus only on them when you remember the situation.

As you practice positive thinking and always looking for a positive in every situation and in every encounter, it becomes much easier. You will find positives even in the most difficult of situations, which you will find will help you through the tough times.

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I enjoyed a wonderful conversation recently regarding the raising of children. We were discussing the fact that there are times when it is very difficult to be positive in your interactions with children, usually when the child will damage something or will create a mess.

Our autopilot often takes over and we find ourselves telling a child not to do something, which of course as any parent knows, actually serves to encourage the child to do the thing more.

In general, parents are focused to teach a child to avoid things and therefore will normally tell the child what not to do, rather than telling them what they can do.

For example, a child is playing in the bath with a pouring jug which they are happily filling up and pouring out into the bath. Then they decide to pour the water out of the bath and the parent says, “Don’t pour the water onto the floor”. This normally prompts them to continue, at which point the parent escalates the situation and either takes the jug of them, or takes them out of the bath. Of course, the parent is focused on the pouring of water onto the floor (it doesn’t matter that they are saying don’t).

To focus on the positive takes time and a change of habit - in the example, the parent could have said “Keep the water in the bath” which is focusing on what the parent wants the child to do, not on what they do not want them to do. This way of speaking to the child is much more likely to result in the bath water staying in the bath and not going on the floor. The other alternative is to say “Play nicely” or similar, though this is a little vague and will not always help, it is much more effective to actually state what you do want.

This focus on the positive is important in all aspects of life, not just in parenting. Someone who focuses mainly on what they want, or want to do, is much more likely to achieve these things than someone who focuses mainly on what they do not want to do, or what they want to avoid.

This is really just very simple goal setting: As a parent of a young child, by phrasing in the positive and focusing on what you want the child to do (not on what you do not want them to do), you are encouraging them to learn to set very good, positively focused goals; As an adult, thinking and speaking of what you do want, rather than in terms of what you don’t want, will help you set and achieve positive, effective goals.

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Technorati Tags: focus, Goals, parenting, positive thinking, thoughts

Here’s a great exercise that you can do throughout your day. It’s an exercise I often set for clients when they find they are just ambling along and would like to get more out of their lives. It is very simple really, you carry a question around with you through your day.

The question is “What do I intend in this moment?” Use it whenever you remember, the most obvious times at first will be things like:

You have a business meeting or important call to make. Before the meeting or call starts, you think “What do I intend from this meeting/call?” This gives you the opportunity to intend a positive outcome from the meeting or call. Even this simple application will see huge differences in your outcomes to these type of activities.

One of my personal favourites is when I have free time with my family, I like to intend an outcome to maximise the time I spend with them. I find this helps me to focus on what I am doing, without having other thoughts, like work or things I have to do, taking up some of my attention.

The exercise is simple in application, however it can take time for it to begin to be an automatic process in your life. There will be times where you forget to ask the question, however it doesn’t mean that you won’t get a positive outcome. So just remember to use it whenever you can and see your effectiveness and enjoyment of life improve.

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Technorati Tags: focus, Goals, positive thinking, receiving