How Responsible Are We?
Apr 10th, 2008 | By Dan O'Neil | Category: QuestionsI read a lovely blog post the other day that can be found here and asked the author a question about what age we can be considered responsible for our own thinking and actions. I received a great and comprehensive reply which you can read in the post comments, but I really wanted to share a few thoughts now about this idea of being responsible.
As we grow from being small children, we receive gifts of wisdom, knowledge, beliefs and much more from our parents and carers. As we evolve into adults, we carry on our beliefs (and a few that we’ve made ourselves in response to our experiences and situations) and some of these do not serve us very well. At some point, hopefully, we become conscious of these beliefs (or limiting beliefs) and we are able to make changes to change these into positive beliefs that can help us.
However, what if we don’t become conscious of these beliefs, can we be held responsible or accountable for something that we created as children when we are unable to do anything about it? In America, there was a case where a man got his prison sentence changed from murder to manslaughter because his lawyers claimed that he had been eating Twinkies (a high-sugar food) and therefore couldn’t be held responsible for his actions. This became known as the Twinkie Defence (the loophole was quickly closed in US Law) – you can read about that here. Obviously I’m not talking about Murder here – but for everyday stuff, are we responsible for things that we are doing unconsciously?
Maybe our responsibility is in educating others that such a thing may be happening to them unconsciously and to be vigilant to our own actions . If they appear to be out of line with who we are, such as being angry for no apparent reason, then it’s possible that we’ve reacted unconsciously and there is an opportunity to become conscious and act differently another time.
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this – it’s one that I’ve pondered over for a long time now!
Wonderful post Dan and thank you for the link back.
I have a comment to make about what you say in your last paragraph about “maybe our responsibility is in educating others…” Being a secondary school educator myself I completely agree with this statement, but NOT based on the current education system. There are self-help programs for adults (usually) today such as what you do, but what if it never had to get to adulthood, what if we could catch it earlier and help teens, especially as during this time they are forming a lot of “new” thoughts and experiences. That is why I strongly believe that our education system in any country should be offering “life classes” – seriously…it is not just math, languages and science that make up a person and are valuable assets today. On the contrary, life skills, conscious thinking skills, etc, are what most of us are in such desparate need of today. Can you imagine how many crimes we could decrease, how many relationships could be saved, how many illnesses could be avoided, etc…
Therefore it is a wonderful service that you are providing others, as the benefits of improving ones quality and outlook of life go a long way personally and for the greater good of humanity!
Hi Evita,
You’re welcome for the link and thanks for your addition to this post. I’m all for this idea of creating life classes in our children’s education – seems like a wonderful addition to their learning experience.
I hope this is something you are able to squeeze into your own work and if so, then hats off to you!
Kind regards, Dan.
Daily we are being ‘educated’, by the results produced from our actions or choices. I may be wrong, however it is my perception that young people do not always get the benefit of an immediate result or consequence following ‘wrong’ action or ‘right’ action.
I am very lucky to have had incredible role models surrounding me in my youth which supported me by way of observing effective ways of managing myself in various scenarios. I also had great adults in my life who had time for conversations when questions wanted answers.
As an adult, I have learned that the more responsibility I am willing to take for my past, the more personal power I experience, in creating my future.
You have a fantastic blog Dan. Wonderful questions being raised and excellent information too. Thank you.
Namaste, Thea
Hi Thea Thanks for your comments and additions.
Hi Dan!
I read with great interest.
As you know I am interested in responsible learning, and indeed responsible teaching.
My experience has shown me that if we encourage and inspire students to find answers they are capable and they learn to take responsibility for their own learning. If we tell them the answers too readily we teach them how to get information easily and essentially we are teaching them how to get other people to think for them.
All the best
Matt
Hi Matt Thanks for your words – I wrote a post a while ago about a coaching colleague who was doing something rather special… “Co-Creative Learning – The Future of Teaching” – Matt is the colleague.
Hello again.
I just had to return and present you with this:
http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/view/id/209
This is an absolute MUST WATCH!
Please spend the 35 minutes for this incredible person’s contribution to young people. Wow!
Cheers, Thea