Building Up Confidence After Absence From Work
Aug 5th, 2008 | By Dan O'Neil | Category: action planning, confidence, fears, tipsOn our confidence and assertiveness courses we frequently find that one or two people have had an extended period of absence from work, or have been out of work for some time. For these people, they describe themselves as having lost their confidence. Sometimes, they return to work and things are not how they were – sometimes processes have changed, staff have changed, or they feel like an outsider. For those who return to work after unemployment, it can feel like you’re starting right back at the bottom of the pile again. This can be hard and unexpected; especially if you are someone who is normally pretty confident.
It can be really quite difficult to regain your footing and return to work as normal. There are a few ideas below that can help you to make the transition as smooth as possible.
- Expectations: If you have positive expectations about your return to work, this can really help you to get through the initial few days and actually can serve to settle your nerves and put you in a good frame of mind to plan how you will approach it. If you’ve already started back at work, then you can still make the decision to expect a good experience going forward. In my opinion this step is vital – if you have negative expectations (for example that it is going to be difficult) then you are unlikely to be able to think clearly enough to help yourself plan your return or your re-integration.
- Ask for help: The last thing you want to do is try and do everything by yourself. Find someone who you trust – either a mentor, a supportive partner, a colleague at work or even your line manager or boss. A lot of companies these days will have a return to work interview, or if you are new, will have a new starters meeting. If not, then ask for one. Use these sessions to ask for support and voice any concerns you have about your return.
- Plan: This is something that most people overlook – they simply return to work without a plan of action and find life pretty tough. Think about the things that concern you – if it is going back to work with a team who may have gotten used to life without you, then why not organise a team get together outside work. Maybe to celebrate your return – most people will be really happy to spend some time with you and normally this takes some of the issues you’re facing away. The same can apply to a new team you are entering – why not organise something a day or so into your new role and get to know people away from work. Sometimes there may be issues with other colleagues and to find this out when you return to work can be much more difficult. If you can, organise appointments or meetings with these people and get together to discuss your concerns or your re-integration. Most of the time, people find these appointments very daunting, but their experience when they find the courage to do this, is that the people are really nice and supportive of them.
- Employ someone to help you: A Life Coach or other therapist or specialist can really help you to put together your plan of action and talk through your fears and concerns. For some people it is an extremely daunting thing to find the confidence to return to work after an absence. Understand that you are not alone in this experience and that there are ways for you to succeed on your own, or with help of a professional.
If you are faced with this situation, then don’t enter into it without some planning up front. Find someone who will help you, either someone from work or employ a professional. Expect good things – there’s no point expecting doom and gloom otherwise that’s all you’ll find.
See also: 10 Top Tips for building Confidence

Sometimes its not so easy to “get right back up on the horse again” after an absence. This is good advice to focus your efforts on making a successful re-entry. I think the key is your first point- setting expectations- both for your boss and for yourself.
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Dan O’Neil says… Communication is vital in most situations – I’m forever recommending that people with challenges talk to each other – and more than that, actually understand the other’s perspective first. Thanks Louise.
Those are some really great tips – it can be really hard to adjust to a new schedule and new routine, and for some finding a new job is the only option as all the coworkers who “know your story” and like to talk about you behind your back don’t make it easy either.
Dan O’Neil says… Thanks TR. There is always that possibility in returning to work, which is unfortunate. You can either rise above it or have a change of scenery as you suggest.
I especially like the idea of preparing to return to work by having a plan in place, very good information, thanks Dan.
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Dan O’Neil says… No problem Patrick.
again, very nice post… it does feel hard getting back to work straight from unemployment or a long period of absence … personally, making a plan is great idea because it puts things in perspective, you’ll know what steps to take to better your situation… enjoyed my time here, hope to come back soon…
Dan O’Neil says… Thanks for visiting and leaving your thoughts James.
I had left the work force for a while after my youngest was born, and it can get pretty hard to come back once you get used to staying at home! I didn’t plan… wish I did!
Dan O’Neil says… Even when we plan (presumably you meant children), going back to work afterwards can be pretty hard.
I do recommend hiring a success coach to ease the transition back to work. I have used a coach in the past and they helped a great deal. They can also aid in assembling you short and long term goals for work and personal.
Dan O’Neil says… Thanks Kevin
you have described 4 things to apply to regain the lost confidence. they are positive expectations,Ask for help,Plan,get someone to help . among them i don’t know that employing someone to help is how much effective. but other three are must specially expectation and plan. i believe that without expectation and plan a human being can not be a gainer he/ she will always loose. nice post.
Dan O’Neil says… Thanks Curt.