Be Your Own Life Coach – Getting the Best Out of Yourself
Sep 9th, 2008 | By Dan O'Neil | Category: Goal Setting, Life CoachingI’ve been thinking a great deal lately about the role of a life coach in someone’s life. To me, unless you are incredibly self-sufficient, if one of your goals is to be the best you can be, then you need a coach. The life coach’s role is to challenge you to new levels of achievement and happiness in order that you can exceed your own expectations of how far you are able to go. Working with someone who is impartial and has the ability to help you to see beyond your highest vision of yourself is an incredible experience (one which I would sorely miss if I didn’t have the opportunity myself).
So what can you do to get the best out of yourself? Here is an exercise that will help you:
- Grab a pad and write down as much as you can to express the highest vision of yourself that you are able to see. Imagine that anything is possible – don’t limit yourself by your current situation or experiences. It can be a really useful exercise to consider a particular area of your life – maybe one that you wish to make improvements to. You can pick from friends, family, health, work, recreation, character, money, physical environment, spiritual or choose a word that has meaning to you. Make it more of a description of yourself (than simply a list of words) in relation to your chosen area. Ensure that you write it in the present tense as though it is happening now. Ignore the doubts and negative thoughts and feelings you might have as you are writing – it’s not important whether you believe you can be, do or have any of this right now. We’ll call this your “New Desire for Yourself”.
- If you are a believer in the Law of Attraction (and usually make things happen for yourself) then this may already be enough for you to begin to create this reality in your life. Simply read it through every day – making enhancements and improvements if you feel like it – and really believe this “New Desire for Yourself” is your reality now. If you want to make sure, then you can move onto the next step.
- Considering your current situation and reality, begin to write down a list of options available to you in order to begin to move towards this “New Desire for Yourself”. Be open to anything that you think of, even if it seems like a ridiculous option, write it down. For many people, this list of options will grow and evolve over a period of a few days or weeks – as you read it through every day (as often as possible really) then ideas will come up that you can add to the list. Now, at some point you are going to have to take some action to change.
- Take action! Massive action will lead to massive results – if you are really serious about making these changes and achieving your new desire, then you have to make big changes. I’d suggest that for the majority of people who “try” out the law of attraction, their biggest downfall is not taking action or making changes. You can’t think things into being – you have to do something also!
I genuinely believe that there is no substitute for coaching if you are in pursuit of self-excellence. However, there is much that you can do by yourself and I hope that this simple process will help you to create a better reality for yourself.
Will the above tips help to turn a negative thinking person to become positive?
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Dan O’Neil says… Every little helps!
hi thanks for sharing this exercise. It is really hard to get the best out of yourself if your feelings and mind is clouded by sadness and negative aura. thanks again
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Dan O’Neil says… Thanks
Hi Dan,
This is a valuable plan… I find I lose sight of my goal pretty often, and your ideas helped me to re-focus.
When we believe in ourselves and take massive action, any goals we set are possible.
thanks,
Riggie
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Dan O’Neil says… Agreed, thanks Riggie. Good of you to stop by again.
thank you for the above tips
Dan O’Neil says… You’re welcome.
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I enjoyed reading this, and I agree with you wholeheartedly. I think I am my best life coach. It didn’t just happen overnight, but was a conscious effort over time that eventually became a part of me. One of the first things to achieve this is not to lie to yourself. No one knows me like I do.
Secondly, I believe it is important to weigh other people’s opinion of you especially if it may appear negative. Because you are objective and don’t lie to yourself, you can use people’s position of you as one of your tools for self-improvement. Of course, if you believe they are wrong, you discard it – just don’t lie to yourself.
Next, it is good to be open-minded, but not entirely malleable. This helps you gain understanding of certain things, regardless of whether you agree with them or not.
Lastly, I like the fourth point, Take Action. This is very important. It is great to think as it forms your vision and your strategy, but nothing is going to come of it, unless it is acted upon.
Great Post!
I also like pondering and writing, check out my blog http://blog.ninthball.com and leave a comment
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Dan O’Neil says… Thanks James – great additions, thanks for your comments.
Writing things down is key but like you say the primary thing you must do is take action. I think thats why a coach is easier, they are there to press you into taking action. It can be hard by yourself.
Dan O’Neil says… John I think for a lot of people you are right – it can be hard on your own. There are a few self-motivated people out there and actually they often work with Coaches too.
This is great exercise. I think 1st step is most important. but every of 4 steps are very important, and one without other any other can’t make best results.
Dan O’Neil says… Thanks.
I think that dwelling on issues is the worst thing I do. I will take action and practice ea. of the steps above! I thank you for writing that out as a useful guide to those in need.
Dan O’Neil says… Thanks for stopping by Pete.
I’ve been learning alot from the Brian Tracy books, he has a similar idea of writing down your goals and focusing on them.
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Dan O’Neil says… He is certainly highly regarded! I haven’t met any successful people who don’t suggest writing down your goals and focusing on them… there might be something in it!
I just saw the movie most people are calling the sequel to The Secret. The Opus. One of the most valuable lessons that I learned from the film was the importance of finding your passion inside of you. And if you follow this intuitive core message you will find it much more easy to become successful. Too many people are looking outside themselves for approval and I believe that is why many people experience failure so often.
If you liked the Secret you don’t want to miss the Opus. The Opus follows up to the questions left behind in the law of attraction. It features many familiar faces from The Secret. (Jack Canfield, John Demartini, Morris Goodman, Bob Doyle, Joe Vitale, Marci Shimoff, Mark Victor Hansen and others.) OPUS Movie
Dan O’Neil says… Hi Trevor – thanks for the tip. Personally I loved the secret and hadn’t heard of this.
The law of attraction works! What you believe and think about truly will happen!
Dan O’Neil says… I agree – if and only if you are prepared to listen to your own cues and take appropriate action. The LOA helps you to identify the right actions to take and provided you stay focused on your goals, they will come along.
I think your note on taking action is one that most people fail to follow. It is not enough to decide you want to accomplish something – we need to take action and stay consistent with goals we made.
Great post!
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Dan O’Neil says… Cheers Alex.
What I used to do and still do now is to write small reminders on pieces of paper and leave them on the desk and on the fridge. I remind myself what I need to do and how to do it. With using this method for over a year, I changed some habits and became a different person actually.
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Dan O’Neil says… That’s a great idea – reminding yourself of who you wish to be is one great way to change habits for the better.
What a life-affirming post.
Nothing will happen if one doesn’t take responsibility for themselves first, and I too have found that writing things down allows me to hold the the thought in a semi-constant way, so that it seems to align my activities with the thought/goal. In this way the things I do are infused with this goal; I’m never far from it. It’s nice to know that making things happen can be a matter of proximity to your intentions, rather than (necessarily) overcoming obstacles.
Or at least that’s the way it seems to be to me.
Dan O’Neil says… You seem to have a good way of living life there Tom!
I think you’re right. To be a positive person we have to start by beleiving we can be positive persons. Thanks for the suggestions.
Dan O’Neil says… Thanks for your visit and your comments Mc.
Dan
Some good ideas here especially the ideas around self reflection, “write the highest vision of yourself”.
Something that is a challenge to do in our fast paced internet speed world is to stop what we are mindlessly doing and to get clear on what is truly important. Then and only then, GET into ACTION!
Happily Retired in Lake Chapala, Mexico,
Joel
Dan O’Neil says… Yes, yes, yes! Get clear on what is truly important (to ourselves) and then get into action! A mantra for a beautiful life – thanks Joel, enjoy your retirement!
Thanks for good tips. I think first a person has to believe that he can get the best out of him self, and then make action. I am sure he will achieve his goals. And your tips will help him a lot.
Dan O’Neil says… Or her!
I personally believe in taking action in that action cures fear. Most people never accomplish anything because of the fear of failure, when failure is really their best friend. I think we have the public school system to thank for that. We instill in our young minds that failing is this awful thing, when it should be focused on that and then fixed. Get back up so to speak. Sorry for the rambling, but thats just how I see it.
Dan O’Neil says… I think you are right here – action cures fear. Not sure about how focusing on failure is a good idea. NLP supposes that there is no failure, only feedback (or learning) – I think this is a much more positive focus for our lives. If we lived with no concept of failure, then how can we fear it – I’m sure most people aren’t frightened to learn! We teach failure by criticising and complaining to our children, when we should be celebrating with them and helping to understand and implement their learning.
I know a lot of people who’ve done steps 1-3, but failed on 4. They simply can’t follow through. That’s why I think taking action is the most important step.
Dan O’Neil says… Thanks Mercola.
it’s not easy for everybody to think positive about themselves, depressed people are always preoccupied with their look and what will other think of them….
Dan O’Neil says… This is true Sarah. There is work that needs to be done first when someone is depressed, before they can begin to focus positively on themselves.
I think its important for people to take them selfes up for a revision now and then.
Dan O’Neil says… Thanks Greta.
I’ve been learning a lot from the Brian Tracy books, he has a similar idea of writing down your goals and focusing on them.
Dan O’Neil says… I hear many good things about him. He’s not an author and speaker I know a huge amount about though.
Some days back I was talking to this guy who’s almost in his 40s and is a very successful person. He told me to keep my aim in mind all the time, because as we believe: Thoughts are the base of actions. That’s how he achieved his aims and goals in life, and I am also thinking of applying it in my life!
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Dan O’Neil says… Successful people often do things that make them successful. How great that he shared that with you.