Mind Your Language
Sep 1st, 2008 | By Dan O'Neil | Category: CommunicationTravelling home this evening I was listening to the radio and the presenter came on and said… “It’s been the worst August in 49 years”. Now, I’m pretty sure he was referring to the weather here in the UK, but it’s a really great example of how easily you can be misundersood.
I found myself asking the question, “Who has the right to say what my August has been like?” In fact, I’ve had perhaps my most enjoyable and productive August since I can remember! In spite of the weather!
I guess it’s really important to consider how people might be interpretting what you are saying or writing and be vigilant for any opportunities for mis-understanding that you are leaving yourself open to. Remembering back to my corporate days, I can remember numerous times in meetings where people were left confused because the speaker had used abbreviations, or sayings that some of the people might understand. The rest of the audience were, of course, mystified.
My favourite all time example of something that is easily mis-interpreted was on a road sign on the entrance to the village of Bickerton in Yorkshire which had these wonderful words written on it:
SLOW CHILDREN PLAYING
Classic! My favorite example is the sign in front of the gas station/restaurant:
EAT AND GET GAS
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Dan O’Neil says… It’s even better when it’s true!! Thanks for that one!
you’re right about those abbreviations. sometimes, people who are familiar with them don’t take the time to explain their meaning to others. so you end up with a jumble of letters equivalent to gibberish.
Dan O’Neil says… In a previous career I used to work in IT and the number of abbreviations that we knew was incredible! None of it made any sense to anyone else though!
It is certainly true that messages can easily be mis-interpreted. There are a long list of hilarious signs from around the world that can be taken two ways. It also reminds me of a joke I heard about two people having a conversation about WC, and one is talking about Winchester Cathedral and the other is talking about water closets (ie toilets) but they both think they are referring to the same thing. I understand that it is very wise to keep checking that you understand what your conversational partner is saying by asking questions like “Do you mean …?” or “Do I understand correctly that …?” While I agree that you should always be open to the possibility that others might misinterpret what you are saying, it often seems a complete surprize just how they misinterpret it. We never know what other people are thinking. I guess that’s why we need to keep asking.
Dan O’Neil says… That’s so true – sometimes we don’t discover mis-interpretations for years! It’s probably the cause of many a war… Thanks Tracy.
The best sign I’ve seen says “Welcome to Hope (Arkansas) – Birthplace of Bill Clinton” and then at the bottom of the sign someone had spray-painted “sorry about that”.
Although I think that I interpreted that sign correctly…
Dan O’Neil says… True, but it’s still pretty funny!
A slogan that was on TV was ” A Mind is a Terrible Thing To Waste” – A mind is not a terrible thing, although it is a terrible thing to waste a mind.
Tom
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Dan O’Neil says… That’s a nice one and quite appropriate to the content of this blog! Cheers.
I think the thing is that we usually do not pay enough attention to whatever we say or write. Take email for instance. Now I always reread them, and I cath a lot of mistakes. But I didn’t use to. So that will have had a really bad effect on people.
And Speech is even more difficult to re-evaluate.
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Dan O’Neil says… True – once you’ve spoken you can’t re-type it!
I agree that it is really important to have clear communication. It is because good communication is our bridge to other people in understanding ideas and others
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Dan O’Neil says… That’s a nice way of putting it! There’s a presupposition in NLP that goes something like: The meaning of your communication is the response you get. Basically it’s your responsibility to ensure your communication is understood.
Agreed. Misunderstandings are particularly dangerous in emails. It’s taken me a while to realize it, but more often than not sarcasm and joking may not always come across as such in a written (or sometimes even spoken) format.
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Dan O’Neil says… Thanks Madman, it can be really hard to let go of being sarcastic if it’s in your nature! I’ve learned this lesson too…
it is important to have good communication. bcozgood communication is our relation to other people in understanding ideas and others
Dan O’Neil says… Thanks Tiffany.
It’s because people think different is why these misunderstandings happen. It takes time to learn to convey your thoughts in that way so the other person can understand you perfectly.
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Dan O’Neil says… It’s a life long process Nina!
Is sad to say but there are outhere always “authoritative people” that thinks what they say is what it has to be. So irritating.
Dan O’Neil says… A healthy and regular dose of self-questioning and challenging your beliefs and ideas is required!
[...] quick personal development tip today, inspired by a comment on my post about Minding Your Language. Something that really helps me in my on-going personal development and self-improvement is to [...]
the comunication is primary, i´m a student of social comunication in argentina where I live, and I know in a conversation influence a big amount of factors, for example, the language, the culture, the medium for the message..and more..
I think internet is a big source for messages misinterpreted, because the people write without thinking
Dan O’Neil says… You’ve a good point about the internet there – there’s also the fact that when people read things, there is no possibility for the communicator to make sure their meaning remains intact. Thanks for stopping by.
Slow children playing … that’s too funny. It reminds me of learning conversational ambiguity when studying Ericksonian Hypnosis. The old teaching phrase was “hypnotizing hypnotists can be tricky”.
Dan O’Neil says… I’m sure they can!!
Very true about how easy it is to misinterpret what people say. I know of many instances of break-ups and arguments that have occurerd simply because one person created a meaning from a sentence that the other person didn’t even intend to make.
Clear communication is so important, both in public speaking such as on the radio, and also in our personal day to day lives.
Dan O’Neil says… Thanks for your comment Steven.
I agree completely. It’s important to be clear with our words since misunderstanding could be costly. Unfortunately, many people just speak out what they have in mind without thinking about its clarity. We need to increase our awareness in communication.
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Dan O’Neil says… Cheers Don.
Yeah, sometimes some things can be interpreted by the brain in many different ways and it is a duty of the presenters, etc. to keep these things in mind because it is a big audience that they are addressing!
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Dan O’Neil says… Thanks for your comment.
I used to be like this. I thought everyone knew same things i did or knew what ever i was talking about. Then i would give to many details and people thought i was talking down to them. It is a fine line give enough information so you know they know what your talking about and not to much to bore them.
Dan O’Neil says… Give it a healthy dose of listening and understanding and you’re the most popular person who ever lived.