Is The Opposite Also True?
Oct 8th, 2008 | By Dan O'Neil | Category: Personal Development, self-improvementA quick personal development tip today, inspired by a comment on my post about Minding Your Language. Something that really helps me in my on-going personal development and self-improvement is to spend some time every now and again challenging my beliefs about things. It’s something that I’ve picked up along the way and it is to ask myself the simple question, “Is the opposite also true?”
Actually, this question has uses well beyond simply challenging your beliefs, it can help you to get the measure of ideas, thoughts and goals that you may have. When do I use it? Well quite simply, I use this particular gem as often as I remember to. Sometimes I’m great at it, other times, I forget! Most often, I use this when I have an important decision to make, or when I find I am making a judgment about someone or something.
In NLP there is a presupposition that everyone has their own unique view of the world. This is so easy to forget when we are communicating or working with other people. To have something handy in your mental arsenal to throw in when you need it is so useful and helps keep you one step ahead of your automatic judgments.
Sometimes I’ll catch myself defending one of my opinions or beliefs about something so energetically and enthusiastically. It’s such a strong defense that I really try hard to question and challenge myself to ensure that I really feel that way about it. In doing this, sometimes you’ll make really huge breakthroughs that will un-stick your thinking and help you move past obstacles that you never knew existed. Other times, it will really help you to understand another persons point of view, without actually changing or shaping your own.
Try it, have fun with it and remember to challenge yourself as often as you remember to do so!
Thank you for you tip.I guess this is my best ingathering today.I am kind of self-centered woman, and it’s definitly a challenge for me.
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Dan O’Neil says… Thank you for your comment! I reckon this is a challenge for everyone!
I find this happening with the recent economic turmoil. Even though I’ve been trained at the graduate level in economics, I find myself seeing more and more things that conflict and don’t reconcile. It can be unsettling!
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Dan O’Neil says… That’s interesting David. Ideally though, considering if the opposite is also true leads to new thoughts, ideas and opportunities. Unsettling is not a great outcome!
Great tips indeed. It is always very good to look the opposite side of thought or decision. That can simply clear many things and can learn you to make fair judgments in life. It is not good to have one way of looking and to stick to it.
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Dan O’Neil says… Thanks Hellen.
I’m not sure I get this. Would your example mean if you were saying “George is a !@#$%” you should ask yourself is the opposite also true?
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Dan O’Neil says… I think that if you are saying that “George is a !@#$%”, you’ve probably got problems!
What this idea is all about is noticing when you have a strong reaction to an idea or an opinion, either your own or someone elses and then using the question to give you a different perspective or viewpoint on it. Strong negative feelings usually indicate there is a challenge with your thinking. Sometimes the same is true of strong positive feelings.
We often have such a feeling like “what I believe is the right thing”. Naturally our ego tend to drive us to believe on ourselves first rather than to others.
This tips of yours are trully helping and important, cause the fact is sometimes the opposite are tend to be right. And it’s all our ego that covered it up.
Dan O’Neil says… Ah yes! The “what I believe is the right thing” thought… The main challenge with it is that there may be 20 or 30 people (or many more) who have a different opinion or idea, but who also believe they are right. Good points, thanks.
Thank you. It’s a nice way to remember that the range of opinions on the subject is not limited by yours. And a way to elaborate respect for other people with relation to their opinions.
I sometimes challenge myself, too. There were times that I think my own opinion is the right one but then I realized that I also have to open myself to other people’s opinions and beliefs. When we are communicating with other people, we need to remember to respect their own opinions, too. Sometimes, we get nice ideas by listening to other beliefs opposite to ours.
Dan O’Neil says… That’s a good point – if you allow other’s beliefs and opinions to settle with you (without necessarily changing your thoughts or beliefs) then wonderful ideas and things can come out of it.
The question is simple but it’s effective to challenge our beliefs. Often we stop when we think that our assumption is true. We rarely move beyond that to think about whether or not the opposite is also true.
Dan O’Neil says… Thanks for the comment Don.
is really true that everyone has their own unique view of the world, and is often very difficult to live with that and try to understand the vision of others .. .. but we must learn, with practice and patience, I believe we can ..
Dan O’Neil says… A life’s work!
In my point of view one can choose to change any belief that is not helping you create the life you really want. And perhaps the time has come to really question your core beliefs if you truly want to change the course of your life.
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Dan O’Neil says… Thanks.
Our thoughts and beliefs can have a dramatic effect on our lives. We attract the types of things that we think and believe. If we have positive optimistic beliefs, we will attract positive events and situations. This means that we have the power to change and improve our own lives simply by challenging our beliefs and eliminating those that don’t add value to our lives.
Dan O’Neil says… I agree… and we bring so much into our lives that we are not aware of due to some of our beliefs and thoughts. That’s why it’s healthy to challenge what we think we know!
In my sense Limiting beliefs could come from the things people said to us and about us while we grew up. Now is the time to devastate these weeds. They could also come from listening to negative people, watching/listening to negative TV and radio programs, reading negative books and magazines, and repeatedly hearing negative song lyrics. Always be on the look-out for possible sources, not fearfully, but with the view to detect and devastate them.
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Dan O’Neil says… Thanks Lindsey
I find this happening with the recent economic turmoil. Even though I’ve been trained at the graduate level in economics, I find myself seeing more and more things that conflict and don’t reconcile. It can be unsettling!
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Dan O’Neil says… Interesting point – I think sometimes we can easily get dragged into this world of conflicting information. This is so much more of a problem when we read or watch the news.
As with me, I’m always on the road to challenging myself in one way or the other. Particularly, in cases where I find the task almost impossible and inside my mind I’m like:”This is the time to prove yourself! You have to do this!”, which to some extent does boost my motivation and confidence, great article overall. I’ll be moving on more articles on your blog now!
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Dan O’Neil says… How would we get anything done in the world if there weren’t people who can overcome the impossible with sheer determination and stubbornness??
I learned a long time ago sometimes people do not have same ideas or views. I even realized finaly that not everyone can figure out same things i could. Same goes for me some people can figure something out and i either do not want to even try or can not undertsand what it is about. I like to discuss listen and try to see all sides but that is easier said then done if i have firm belief or know one thing is not correct.
Dan O’Neil says… We only have to be “right” 51% of the time to make a difference! I think that your intentions are good, we have to learn to allow ourselves the opportunity to learn (or fail if you use that word!).