New Arrival and Appreciating our Difficult Circumstances
Dec 9th, 2008 | By Dan O'Neil | Category: inspiration, tipsThis is my first post in a while and I wish it was all to do with the arrival of my son last month (we have a daughter also). I’ve certainly enjoyed the ability to have a little slow down in work to appreciate him when he is so small! One of the motivating factors for me in becoming self-employed nearly 9 years ago now, was to create a life and lifestyle that meant that I could enjoy time with my children (who were only on the plan back then) and feel as though I was a major part of their lives. It’s certainly been an interesting choice and anyone who is also self employed has probably experienced the wonderful highs and lows that this choice often affords you. I think without the opportunity to experience lean months and difficult periods, I would not be able to fully appreciate the life that we now have.
I suppose my point today is that we can appreciate our difficult circumstances, although they are often extremely painful at the time, as an opportunity to experience what we do not want in our lives. Without experiencing this pain, we cannot fully appreciate the experience of joy that the opposite circumstances bring. For example, how could we know hot if we did not know cold? How can we know love if we do not know fear?
There are many great teachers who have written about these things, I first discovered this idea from reading Conversations with God by Neale Donald Walsch. The message for those who are experiencing difficult times, is to learn to use these times to be able to appreciate the good times. If you have little money, then appreciate the experience of having little money in order to fully appreciate the experience of having more than enough money for everything you want. If you are ill, then appreciate the experience of being ill in order to fully appreciate the experience of being well.
I’m certainly not proposing it is an easy thing to do, but it can really help to bring you through the rough times and focus you on creating the great times.
Thanks for making an effort to make another post. I have missed your posts. Thanks for the info on that book too.
Dan O’Neil says… Thanks for stopping by again Kevin.
Very inspiring. You’re very correct. We cannot feel the real score if we did not experience the situation. Like you, am too had difficult times in my life. But I’m beginning to soar high again. I’m having this positive outlook in life and not minding the bad news around. Again, you inspired me with your story.
Dan O’Neil says… It’s great to hear others who take a positive outlook in life. One of the odd things to me is that not everyone will choose to have a positive outlook. Some people will choose to have a negative outlook and it can be really hard to temper one’s own desire for everyone to experience the joys that life has to offer against the desire for everyone to have what they wish and choose for themselves.
Dan – congrats on the baby, that is fantastic news. Especially in these rough economic times I think it’s also important for people to feel grateful for all that they have (whether it be health, happiness,love, support, etc). Your comment makes a lot of sense also. How can you know you like something unless you try it, and vice-versa, how can you really know how much you want to avoid something until it strikes you. So long as it is not permanent, the experience is useful.
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Dan O’Neil says… Thanks for your feedback Chris, much appreciated.
Well said, from a personal and professional point of view I really appreciate and understand your words. I’m self-employed too and know that life is full of ups and downs but every experience is a teacher, a yardstick to measure.
Dan O’Neil says… Thanks for your comments.
Congratulations! and wise words, it’s sometimes all too easy to forget to appreciate the things that we do have.
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Dan O’Neil says… Cheers Tam.
Congrats on the new little one, our first is coming Jan 25th…we still don’t know what we are having though
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Dan O’Neil says… Thanks and good luck to you!
Hi Dan!
Congratulations on the new baby! That is wonderful news to hear!
I was really touched by this post as I too learned the dual nature of life from Conversations with God and have never looked at the world the same way. Now even the struggles, should there be any are actually appreciated as odd as that may sound to someone else. There is indeed a gift in everything – may we always be blessed to see that!
Enjoy your holidays with your new “bigger” family
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Dan O’Neil says… Thanks Evita.
Hi,
I know what you mean. Its only during the lean times that we take the trouble to acquaint ourselves with the true strengths and weaknesses we possess. I feel you should also read the books of Dr Brian Weiss, it gave me immense relief when I understood the whole purpose of our lives through these books.
Dan O’Neil says… Thanks for the tip – I’ve not come across him before.
you are right…the best way to face the difficult circumstances is to enjoy it..
nice blog..
Dan O’Neil says… What a lovely simple summary. Thanks.
Congrats on the newest addition. Also, good for you for realizing what’s really important in life. If I had a dollar for every parent I’d heard say “I only wish I’d spent more time with the family”, I’d be a rich man. It’s amazing how important the simple things become after you spend your life chasing the material things, but not the other way around.
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Dan O’Neil says… I experience similar comments from parents – my father-in-law has the wonderful pleasure at the moment of making up for something he missed out on and takes the job of being Grandpa very seriously indeed!
I’ve also encountered some difficult circumstances at some points of my life. These circumstances made me value the most important things in life – which are the people around me who care about me. And because of the difficulties that I’ve experienced, I see every good things that come my way as blessings and feel thankful for those. I can very well relate to this post..
Dan O’Neil says… That seems like a lovely way to live your life. Thanks.
First off, congrats on the birth of your son – that’s the “good stuff” for sure…
I apprecite this post very much, Dan. After an extremely painful year, it really put things in perspective for me – and gave me hope as well for moving on and moving forward.
Best to you…
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Dan O’Neil says… I hope your life is richer as a result of your experiences.
Congratulations! We’ve just had our first child and it was the best Christmas present anyone could hope for!
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Dan O’Neil says… Congrats to you also!
Circumstance is what we make it. But Life is threatening when mentors are nowhere to be found.Thanks for that Dan.At At times, we need a holistic approach towards life coaching for us to discover our totality, to free us from our weak nature and discover our magnificent purpose in life.Once uncovered, fears of future will die naturally. I appreciate how life coaching so powerful at this time of perturbing global economic crisis – how can man personally overcome psychological and physiological tempest and pressures in life.
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Dan O’Neil says… Thanks Cris.
The trials in our lives make us stronger, and help us to enjoy the good times, because most of the time they will not last. Thanks you for this post.
Dan O’Neil says… Good times are only labels. We can choose to think of all times as good times – even those that present us with our greatest challenges.
It is good to see you posting again. I know how hard it can be to get work done with little one’s around.
Dan O’Neil says… Thanks Richard.
it’s a first time for me here. And what you’ve just shared makes me feel good about the decisions i’ve made when i chose to be self-employed around 9yrs ago, too. Family really comes first in mind when we decide on these things. Congrats with the recent addition to your family, too! =)
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Dan O’Neil says… Thanks Faye and I wish you continued success.
Congratulations on your new baby and thanks for an inspiring post. We all go through difficult times but we also choose different ways of dealing with them. It looks like you found a path that works well for you and I’m glad that it’s a non-destructive and optimistic path. Good luck to you!
Dan O’Neil says… That’s nice, thank you.
nice post. after reading the post i can feel that you(author)and me has same thought. i always believe in pain and happiness of life. these are complementary to each other.if there would be any one missing out of this two our life would not be so beautiful.
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Dan O’Neil says… Cheers Curt.
Hey Dan. Good post. I’d add to it that what I’ve found in my life is that it’s during the tough periods that I actually learn and grow the most. I think often times God takes me to a place where I am completely dependent on him, where I can’t rely on myself, so that when I do get through that situation I know it wasn’t me but God, and its His faithfulness that grows my faith.
Dan O’Neil says… Thanks for your comments Rob.
pain and joy both are very important factor of our life.in this post i can see the reflection of my thought. pain makes the joy more appreciated and beautiful. who does not experience pain i think he cannot experience joy anyway.
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Dan O’Neil says… Thanks Imran.