Too Much Choice is a Bad Thing?
Mar 25th, 2009 | By Dan O'Neil | Category: Personal Development, tipsI often have new clients who approach me because they are stuck and at a crossroads in their lives. The surprising thing for their friends and families is that they are paralyzed by having too much choice. When presented with an infinite array of options and choices in your life, there is the tendency to shut down and block them all out.
The sheer volume of options and choices available to us can overwhelm us and heap pressure upon our eventual decision. Why? Because we want to make sure that it is the right decision. Imagine choosing the wrong thing when there is so much on offer…
The truth is that it doesn’t matter what we choose. It only matters that we do choose.
There is no-one who is going to say, you’ve made a wrong choice – except for you yourself. You are the only judge of your decisions (although they may certainly the lives of others). If you say they are right, they are right. If you say they are wrong, they are wrong.
What can you do if you are faced with such a situation? The first place to begin is to establish all the important factors – not the how, what or where. Decide what is important to you in this decision, what are the considerations – location, people, environment etc. What are all the tick boxes that need to be ticked before you can make the decision?
Ultimately you are going to have to decide on something – if you have armed yourself with as much information and experience as possible, you can take away the voice in your head that will try and tell you that your choice was poor. If you can find your inner truth, which is that nothing matters and your choices are simply opportunities to express yourself and learn something, then the overwhelming feeling of indecision will disappear. In the meantime, work on discovering what is important to you about the choice and you’ll be moving forwards.
There was a time, when it was hard for me to choose something. Even little things like “Should I buy an apple or a pear?”. I was paralyzed and my friend had to decide. That was awful. After a while she made me decide. Even if it was wrong, I had to decide. And it worked after about 2 or 3 month.
Dan O’Neil says… There are many people who experience varying degrees of this problem and it’s not a great experience. Thanks for sharing.
This reminds me of the expression “analysis paralysis”. I used to spend way too much time thinking and evaluating, and not DOING. I finally realized that taking action is more useful even if you are wrong on occasion. Then, as you look back to enjoy your accomplishments, you notice that there actually ARE things you accomplished instead of just wishing you had.
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Dan O’Neil says… Thanks Chris.
Most people find it difficult in making choices is mainly because of what happened in the past or what might happen in the future.
Well, there’s no point in going through all this crap (forgive my language) if we’re not going to enjoy the ride.
Enjoy the fun friends!
Dan O’Neil says… Without the crap, how on earth can we know the good stuff when we get it???
That’s exactly my problem, I have so many options in my life, I tend to shut down and do nothing. It’s a horrible sensation. I think the best way to avoid this problem is choosing and focusing in only one thing at a time.
Dan O’Neil says… To look at it on paper, it seems crazy that all this choice can be paralyzing! For many people, this choosing and focusing on one thing at a time may be a great help. Thanks for your comments.
i could not agree more… u just have to make decisions. It is really all about enjoying life as much as possible. Stick to your decisions and be happy about it. It will probably work out, maybe not the way u planned, but that doesn´t really matter.
Dan O’Neil says… It only matters if you say it does! Good comment.
Jeez, I had to decide whether I should post to this blog, but I made a choice and went with it. I start my day with something that grounds me and then decide what decisions with give me the biggest bang for the buck. However there are moments in the day I cannot account for, when this happens I move on and get on with my day. Structure works best for me.
Dan O’Neil says… Thanks for deciding to post!
True! It matters that we choose – not get stuck in limbo land wondering what’s best and if we’ll make the right decision, etc. We just have to try sometimes.
Dan O’Neil says… Thanks.
My wife and I are terrible at making descisions. Not just major descisions in our life but everything. Choosing holidays are always very stressful for us. We are always trying to get the very best we can for our money and so by the time we have booked a holiday, we certainly need one.
Dan O’Neil says… Time to change?
This was a great post. The problem I for the longest time was making the decision to change. My life was static, it seemed like my business was going nowhere… I did have so many choices I just never made any. I would agree with Jimmy. Make one choice and stick to one at a time.
-Carly
Dan O’Neil says… Thanks Carly.
I think a key to making decisions sometimes is to just get over it and be spontaneous. Life’s to short to worry!
Dan O’Neil says… Yup, that really works!
You’re right… the fear of making the wrong decision can make you choose “no decision”… which is almost never beneficial. You’ve laid out some great strategies for getting past “decision paralysis”!
I love the concept of learning from our choices instead of viewing them as failures… we’re all here to learn and grow! The ability to do this is a gift, and we’d be crazy not to take advantage of it!
Keep up the great work!
Lee
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Dan O’Neil says… Thanks Lee.
Very clear and insightful post.
I suppose since most people don’t really know what they want from whatever they’re looking at buying, it somehow makes sense that offering too much choice only adds to the confusion.
Dan O’Neil says… The Rudolf Steiner approach to bringing up children is about not giving choice – presenting children with choices causes major challenges to them. It’s perhaps this world we have created that offers children so much choice that is causing our paralysis as we become adults.
It doesn’t matter what we really choose what matters is that we have the will to choose. Too much of everything is bad. This is a great topic to read.
Dan O’Neil says… I agree with your first sentence, however “too much of everything is bad” is probably a limiting belief.
That’s exactly my problem, I have so many options in my life, I tend to shut down and do nothing. It’s a horrible sensation.
Dan O’Neil says… It is! The only solution is to learn to act without thinking – some people call it acting on impulse or instinct.
Well, it really tough when there isn’t enough information to allow you to make the decision. I have gone through the experience. Thus, having right amount of information about the choice & doing the best to maximize the choice to be suceed…lessen the amount of failure in the choice unless external factors which was unexpected to happen, cause you to fail.
Dan O’Neil says… There’s a delicate balance between having enough information and thinking that you need to have all the information. Sometimes it’s much better to go on that gut feeling and just get on with something!