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Tag: setting goals

Goal Setting Tips from Our Children


I had the wonderful pleasure today of watching a goal being created and then seen through in it’s entire process. My 18 month old son Oscar followed me into the bathroom this morning and we have a step down which he normally lies down and comes down backwards to do it safely.

I turned to watch him and a really cheeky smile spread across his face as he stood right on the edge of the step looking down and then at me. I knew what he was thinking, he was planning on learning how to walk down the step without help. I knew I was in for a really interesting few minutes and I was right!

He stood there for a few moments, thinking, scheming and plotting (probably visualising himself doing it too), then he looked up at me and launched himself off the step. It’s a big step and he ended up in a little crumpled heap at the bottom, but the great thing was that he had a great big smile on his face. He knew that he was going to do it and it didn’t matter to him that he hadn’t quite got it right.

Up he jumped and then he tried it again. This time he paused for only a second and then off he went again. This time was better, but he had to steady himself on a bathroom cabinet to stay upright. He laughed excitedly and then up he went again.

Over and over he practised, once he fell and bumped his face on the tile floor, but he barely noticed and was so excited that he laughed it off and climbed up for another go.

After a few minutes he was leaping off the step and laughing loudly, pleased as punch with what he had achieved! Not only did I get to share in his wonderful development, but also I witnessed so many lessons about setting and achieving goals in only a few minutes.

The most important thing was that he didn’t care that he wasn’t getting it right, he was so involved and excited about the process of learning to do it for himself that it didn’t matter how long it took, or how many times he fell over in the process of trying.

Imagine a world where we tackle our goals with such childlike curiosity, excitement and playful action! The destination (although it’s important to have one) isn’t really that important – it’s what you learn on the way and the fun you have!

19 Comments by Dan O'Neil on June 1, 2010
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Goals Are For Life, Not Just For New Year

We tend to spend the first part of a New Year considering aspects of our lives that we don’t usually think about, often analysing our relationships, careers, hobbies or where we live. Some people make resolutions or set goals they wish to achieve in the year ahead and if they create a plan and stick to it, will get great results. Even if we only commit to making goals at this time of year, it is better than nothing. If we understand that setting goals helps us move forward quicker, then setting goals on a weekly or monthly basis seems sensible.

I also want to acknowledge that at this time of year, people also decide to make life changing alterations to their life, as they realise that they are unhappy with certain aspects and these can obviously have huge impacts on people in their lives. Whether this is starting or ending a relationship, changing career or starting a new one, any change needs careful consideration. This is where having someone else to talk to who is unbiased and non-judgemental can really help. Whatever changes you wish to make need planning and a date when you wish to achieve them by. Without planning and consideration, some decisions made in the New Year can be regretted or not achieved at all.

So my advice is to make resolutions and set goals and if it’s a larger or life-changing project, get help from a non-biased, non-judgemental friend or employ a Life Coach to help you, if you are really serious about achieving it and want to be kept on track. Good Luck!

Ruth O’Neil

12 Comments by ruth on February 4, 2009
filed in Goal Setting, action planning
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Dream Big, But Don’t Forget The Small Stuff

I work with a great deal of people who are fantastic at setting massive goals and dreams. For some people this is enough and they have a goal which consumes them and they single mindedly work towards it and ultimately achieve it. For others, they generally set off with a great attitude and then slowly as time passes, they lose interest in the journey and the goal.

Don’t forget the small stuff! It can take such a lot of effort and time to reach our big life goals, that most people adapt, shrink or simply quit their dreams. Something I like to do with my clients is to get them into the habit of setting smaller, short and medium term goals too. Things that will keep them interested along the journey and as they progress towards their main goal, they get into the habit of being focused on what they want in life. For some this takes the form of setting small steps towards their bigger goals, for others it involves setting short term goals that are independent of their bigger goals. The majority of people mix the two – myself included.

From observation it appears that men are particularly good at setting medium to long term goals and not so good at setting small, short term goals whereas women are good at the small, short-term goals and less inclined to think long term. Obviously, this is certainly not always the case, it’s simply an observation from my experience.

To me, a healthy balance of short, medium and long term goals is essential as I progress through my life. I love being able to tick off my goals, even the smallest ones are immensely satisfying. If you are not used to setting goals, or are really good at the big ones, but give no thought or attention to the little ones, then set a goal for today. How about setting a goal to make someone smile, or even better to make someone’s day?

Get a dream/goal book and begin to write down everything you want from your life and then spend time with it daily, making additions, notes, sticking in photos or magazine clippings. Really focus your attention on what you want from your life in every day and every moment and you’ll be on the road to a life of your dreams. As a guide, you can use the following categories to prompt you:

Career, Money, Health, Friends, Family, Romance/love, Personal Growth/Spiritual, Fun and Recreation, Physical Environment

6 Comments by Dan O'Neil on July 2, 2008
filed in Goal Setting, action planning, motivation
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Welcome to Planet Earth

In a recording by Esther and Jerry Hicks (authors of The Law of Attraction) and also in the film The Secret, Esther says that if today was your first day on the planet we would say to you, “Welcome to Planet Earth”. The vast majority of people who embark upon a journey of self-development and change, wonder what they would have done if they’d only found that book or heard those words 5, 10 or 20 years ago (or more). It matters not when you make the decision to change, only that you make it.

Life is about becoming more than you are today – all that you are today is the result of all that you have been being, thinking and doing. To have more than you have today, you must be and do more than you have been being and doing! So it’s as simple as that??!! Well… erm… Yes! Kind of!

My experience and training in Coaching has also highlighted that although the above is true, there are many factors that influence the outcome or the having bit! Some of you may already know (certainly the vast majority of my clients reading this will) that we all have “Limiting Beliefs” – these are beliefs that you form in your childhood that work against you in your thinking. It’s not all “bad”! Indeed, you probably welcome the limiting belief that prevents you from running out into the road to retrieve a ball you want to get. However the vast majority of our limiting beliefs do not serve us well.

The “good news” is that you can easily spot them in other people, the person who constantly puts themselves down, the person who lacks confidence and shrivels up when anyone talks to them. The “bad news”? It’s pretty hard to spot if they’re yours! They can affect money, confidence, family, relationships, work, business, motivation, health and many other areas of life.

Obviously a Coach or Psychotherapist can help with these challenges and there are also courses of self-development that will tackle these issues. If you find that you are pretty good at setting goals, but things don’t quite work out right, the chances are you’ll have a few of these “Limiting Beliefs” interfering with your goals.

So, off to Google to search for solutions to your limiting beliefs? There are many out there and my advice is to find something that works for you.

In the meantime:

  • be aware of the possibility that you may have limiting beliefs
  • try and notice yourself when you behave or react in a way that is not normal for you

In that moment or soon afterwards, ask yourself the questions:

  • Why did I react like that?
  • How can I change that behaviour or reaction another time?

Be More,

Dan

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No Comments by Dan O'Neil on June 7, 2007
filed in Life Coaching, Personal Development, self-improvement
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